15. The Cullens

Chapter Synopsis

Bella awakes the next morning and Edward is still there! She is overcome with excitement and leaps into his lap and *skips* to the bathroom to get ready, brush her teeth, and tame her hair. She realizes Edward’s clothes are changed, meaning he left. But he assures her it is okay, because she spoke in her sleep earlier and said she loved him. She repeats it aloud, and he tells her she is his life now. Not creepy. At all. Bella tries to make a breakfast joke, fails, and then Edward carries her over his shoulder down to the kitchen.

Edward asks Bella if she would like to meet his family. Bella is nervous about this prospect — what if they don’t LIKE her!? She agrees, and Edward makes her promise to tell Charlie he is her boyfriend. Bella gets ready (again, full details), and Edward tells her she looks too tempting and kisses her. Bella then faints because she ‘forgot to breathe.’

They head out to the Cullens’ house, which is (of course) described in great detail. Description, description, description… blah blah blah. And then Bella meets Carlisle and Esme, and Alice kisses Bella ‘hello’ on the cheek, agreeing that she smells yummy. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie follow.  Bella, always one for being awkward, sees a piano and starts on some tangent only to discover her one and only plays the piano wonderfully!!! Edward sits down and plays a song that he wrote for her (awwwwwww…….*highschoolmemories*). 

The Cullens leave them alone to be all cute, and Bella takes the opportunity to whine about how Rosalie and Emmett don’t like her. Edward tells her Rosalie is jealous (perhaps for lack of interaction with Edward’s deadly, thrusting hips). Edward also tells Bella he will be protecting her even more soon because another group of vampires will be visiting the Cullens (Alice has “seen” it). After Edward finishes his song, Bella is crying, so Edward licks her delicious, salty tears away. 

Edward gives Bella the grand tour and starts telling her about Carlisle, who is 362, and was the son of a pastor. Carlisle’s father believed in witches, wolves and vampires and would hunt them. Carlisle found a group of real vampires, was hunting them, and was attacked. Knowing his father would kill him, he crawled away and hid in a pile of rotting potatoes until he turned. THE END.

Best Worst Lines

“‘Your hair looks like a haystack — but I like it.'” (312)

“I deliberated where I stood, wanting to return to him badly, but afraid I might have morning breath.” (313)   (Yes, that’s always our first concern…)

“‘I love you,’ I whispered.

‘You are my life now,’ he answered simply.” (314)

“It was like meeting a fairytale — Snow White in the flesh.” (323)

Things That Really Irk Us

When Edward asks Bella to tell Charlie he is her boyfriend, she flips out because she thought he was something more. WTF!? What does that even MEAN!?

The “You are my life now” line. … Gah. NOT OKAY.

Edward licks Bella’s tears and she doesn’t respond… at all. Maybe it’s the same concept as licking meat for the taste, but not being able to eat it because it’s still alive?

Bella is afraid to meet his family because they might not like her, not because they might eat her. This is not strange at all. Totally rational.

Final Thoughts

Thus far, the most interesting part of this book has been Carlisle’s story.  It only took roughly 340 pages to get to it. Saying that, please note that we STILL have not reached any plot, and wonder if there ever will be one.

Bella is still dumb.

Edward is still creepy.

They still cannot have sex. But if Edward really wanted to risk it, he could when she’s passed out from one of those delicious vampy smooches.

Go to Chapter 16.