36. Bloodlust

Chapter Synopsis

The cloaked Volturi float in gracefully, moving as one dark unbroken shape at “the pace of the invincible,” whatever that means. They show no emotion — no surprise or dismay at finding a large group of spraklepires (and one werewolf) waiting for them in the snowy clearing. Bella uses her speshul counting skills to note that there are 32 of them.

But as the disciplined Volturi come to a stop in the clearing and spread out into a formation, dozens more vampires begin entering the clearing behind them — an angry mob not even trying to hide their emotions. Clearly they want to see the Cullens brought to justice for creating an immortal child. Irina is in the mob, looking distraught at the sight of her sisters standing on the opposing front line.

Edward snarls and says that “Alastair was right.” The Volturi have indeed come to destroy AND acquire. In case Irina’s claims prove to be false, Aro and Caius have planned to find some other reason to start a glitter-filled battle. But, now that they can see Renesmee, they’re confident in their course of action.

But suddenly the Volturi ranks stop, and Bella realizes it’s because the rest of the wolves have come into the clearing. There are more werewolves than at last count — 17 total now, including Jacob. And Bella realizes how many of them must be barely even teenagers. She is suddenly furious that children should have to die for this. Her murderous rage takes over, and suddenly she’s seeing red and feeling positively giddy about the idea of getting to rip off some Volturi limbs and then dance manically around their funeral pyres. (Weirdo.)

At the center of the stalled Volturi ranks, Aro and Caius are holding hands and conversing silently. Aro is scanning the opposing sparklepires, and Bella can read the disappointment in his filmy eyes when he discovers that Alice is missing. Bella takes the lull to growl a bit, and scope out Alec and Jane.

Edward informs his group that the Volturi aren’t sure how to proceed now. They’re weighing their options, choosing key targets, and Marcus is testing out the bonds between them all, looking for ones that can be broken. They’re bothered by the Romanians, wary of the long Amazons, and worried about the wolves. Since they don’t count their witnesses in their numbers, the Volturi find themselves outnumbered. Carlizzle takes the opportunity to speak.

He takes a few steps into no man’s land, greeting Aro as his BFF. Aro, too, steps forward, asking Carlizzle why he’s acting so friendly when he’s assembled a force to kill Aro’s “dear ones.” Carlizzle assures Aro that there’s no intent to kill anyone, and that the crime the Volturi have come to punish does not exist. Caius gets all huffy and is all, “We see the kid, dumbass,” but Carlizzle begs them to look closer and see that she’s part human.

Caius, pissed off, pulls Irina forward from the crowd and bitch slaps her across the face. Then he asks if Renesmee is the child she saw weeks earlier. Irina pauses; she isn’t sure. This child looks bigger. Aro steps in to stop Cauis from hitting Irina again, asking him not to be “hasty.” (What are we, Treebeard now?) Aro takes Irina’s hand and sees her thoughts, and agrees that the child has grown since Irina first saw her. Carlizzle offers Aro his hand again for an explanation, but Aro wants the story from a more central source — he wants it from Edward.

Edward walks forward toward Aro, and the red haze in Bella’s vision “flames brighter.” When Jane smirks, Bella’s had it. She flings her shield out into the clearing like a javelin, where it hovers like a “mushroom cloud of liquid steel.” Naturally, in this moment of need, Bella figures out how to let go and control her shield. She stretches the steely, mushroomy thing all the way across the clearing to envelope Edward, but pulls it back again so he can have his little powwow with Aro. It pains her to do so, but at least she knows she can protect him again if necessary. She knows, but nobody else does.

Edward and Aro hold hands for an uncomfortably long time, Aro gaining all the knowledge and thoughts from Edward’s pretty little head. Bella growls some more. Aro eventually pulls back, slightly awed and amused, and asks to meet Renesmee. Caius objects, but Aro tells him the crime they came to punish does not exist, and that he should “ponder” what to do next (i.e. think about other reasons to destroy the Cullens) while Aro meets the kid.

Edward and Aro (accompanied by Felix and Demetri) meet Bella, Renesmee, Jacob and Emmett in the middle of the field. Bella makes sure to keep those behind her shielded (this time describing her shield as a “cape”), but presents Renesmee to Aro when he asks. Aro’s positively smitten with Baby and the implications of her existence. He assures her he won’t hurt her friends, but a hiss from Edward and Maggie (the vampy lie-detector) suggest otherwise.

After letting Renesmee share her thoughts with him, Aro takes a keen interest in the werewolves. Edward, reading his thoughts, assures him that the wolves are “loyal” to the Cullens because they are committed to protecting human life, not because they follow orders. Apparently Aro is considering some guard dogs for his dear ones. Woof.

Aro ends the exchange by noting that he has “much to discuss” with his brothers. Boo discussion. We want action.

Best Worst Lines

“They came with pageantry, with a kind of beauty.”

“Their progress was slow but deliberate, with no hurry, no tension, no anxiety. It was the pace of the invincible.”   (Do they have their own theme song, too?)

“I supposed I should have foreseen this. With so many vampires encamped in the neighborhood, a werewolf population explosion was inevitable.”

“Abruptly, I was furious. Beyond furious, I was murderously enraged. My hopeless despair vanished entirely. A faint reddish glow highlighted the dark figures in front of me, and all I wanted in that moment was the chance to sink my teeth into them, to rip their limbs from their bodies and pile them for burning. I was so maddened I could have danced around the pyre where they roasted alive; I would have laughed while their ashes smoldered. My lips curved back automatically, and a low, fierce snarl tore up my throat from the pit of my stomach. I realized the corners of my mouth were turned up in a smile.”

“My muscles flexed, and venom welled in my mouth.”   (That must be unpleasant.)

“The red haze I saw around the Volturi army flamed brighter than before. I could not bear to watch Edward cross the empty white space alone — but I also could not endure to have Renesmee one step closer to our adversaries. The opposing needs tore at me; I was frozen so tightly it felt like my bones might shatter from the pressure of it.”

“I could taste madness on my tongue — I felt it flow through me like a tidal wave of pure power. My muscles tightened, and I acted automatically. I threw my shield with all the force in my mind, flung it across the impossible expanse of the field — ten times my best distance — like a javelin.”

“The shield blew out from me in a bubble of sheer energy, a mushroom cloud of liquid steel.” (690)

“Both were tall and dark-haired, Demetri hard and lean as the blade of a sword, Felix hulking and menacing as an iron-spiked cudgel.”

Things That Really Irk Us

Blah blah blah, talk talk talk. Ugh, why is this so slow and painful? WHERE IS THE ACTION?

The fact that, magically, Bella masters her speshul power at the last minute, flinging her shield over everyone on her side without them knowing. Convenient. Very convenient.

All of the unnecessary similes and metaphors used in this chapter. Throwing invisible shields like javelins, comparing said shields to mushroom clouds of liquid steel, describing other sparklepires as hulking iron-spiked cudgels. … Seriously, please stop, SMeyer. We are bothered.

Final Thoughts

So… no battle? Goddamnit, what’s the point??

Go to Chapter 37.

26 Responses to “36. Bloodlust”

  1. […] chapter and new SMeyer ‘novella.’ First of all, we’ve posted Chapter 36 for you today. Yes, that’s right, two chapters within a couple of days of each other! […]

  2. I feel like Meyer is that girl in high school who uses many the embellished term in her English assignments and then wonders why she never gets an A. I can just imagine the teacher’s face as they try to politely yet emphatically impart the meaning of superfluous.

  3. THis is… incredibly horribe, but I’m a little bit frightened by Bella’s desire to burn the Volturi’s bodies and dance as they roast… alive… That… bothers me a lot.

    We NEED to make a Vultori Theme song. That would be the greatest!

    • Yeah, Bella’s getting a little creep-tastic herself in her vampy rage, isn’t she?

      Alright, who wants to compose our Volturi Theme Song? It’s gotta be terrible, yet awesome. Like 80s music.

      • What ever the song may be, Pat Benatar has to sing it…. on second thought why waste her awesome on this? And yet… it would be so amazing… but I shouldn’t BE amazing for Twilight… this is a situation I must ponder…

      • just take something from the discography of the sisters of mercy. when i listen to them, i always think of awful/wonderful 80s vampire films. i would suggest “this corrosion” or “lucretia, my reflection.”

      • Or maybe the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars… because they are eeevil!

      • noooo not Darth Vader’s Theme/Imperial MArch – no matter how hilarious that might be, Star Wars, that awesomeness, cannot be touched by Twilight. xD

      • Yeah, you’re right. Star Wars deserves a better fate.

      • Men at work- you can dance
        Falco- Rock me Amadeus
        Taco- putting on the Ritz
        Rick Astley- Never gonna give you up
        Micheal Jackson- I’m bad/thriller/man in the mirror (Irony!)

      • oh gods i second the men at work one.

  4. WHAT no battle! Dammit! SMerey you’ve failed agian! Just make them all shut-up and have them battle it out. Of course she would probaly make it suck. yes we should make a Vultori Theme song. That truley would be something good to come out of this book. As long as Smerey has nothing to do with it.

  5. Personally, when I read that part of your super-excellent summary, I heard in my head a dubstep version of the Imperial March from Star Wars.

    But then, I’m a super-geek…

  6. Bella says that she doesn’t want ‘children’ to die for this. Technically she is the same age as most of the Wolves. Another bit of Meyer not thinking through her plot? (Sorry comment is a bit irrelevant.)

  7. “Mushroom cloud of liquid steel”.
    What? Looks like SMeyer has finally run out of flowery epithets, so she is now trying to stir up her prose with some… unusual metaphores. However, it is pretty hard for me to imagine even a mushroom of steel, not to mention a mushroomy cloud of steel… not to mention… oh, never mind.
    This treatment of the werewolves is beyond contempt. First, Jacob as a pet, now the ‘loyal’ little wolfies who protect the shiny Übermenschen. Just great. Remember, kids, pretty people are superior to everyone so if you’re not one of them you are doomed to serve them loyally. It appears to me, though, that Bella is rather a werewolf herself: she wants to sink her teeth into her enemies and starts snarling when enraged. So, she behaves exactly the same way as any dog I’ve seen in my life.

  8. “We see the kid, dumbass.” LOL at work! You guys are awesome.

    Geez, Bella. Bloodlust much? What a terrible person.

  9. Duh, SMeyer, we solve this Volturi thing with an AK47 to all their faces.

    But you see, that would actually be somewhat entertaining. And SMeyer would never allow that.

    I’m gonna go cry now.

  10. Why do I have the horrible feeling that the evil sparklepires are the only ones who will die, all the others will ask for the Cullens to be the new sparklepires, and that Edward and Bella will be some kind of special leaders?

  11. “I could taste madness on my tongue…” Quick question but, where else would you taste things but on the tongue? What does madness taste like? P.S. Madness? *chuckles manically* THIS IS SPARTA!!!(yes, I have been waiting a long time to use that).

  12. How to fight a failpire: a flame thrower to the face. It’s that simple.

  13. Meyer should of read the classics, True Blood, or watched the original films to:

    That scene would have not have overshadowed the blood explosion scene with Bella giving birth. Seriously.

  14. The classics from the VICTORIAN period are more medically accurate than SMeyer’s novels. Dracula reflects the concerns of hygiene, medicine and disease that was considered as recent information in science. Her novels are even behind the Victorians times (18th century). Also, Victorian novels are more erotic and characters actually have personalities!

    hmm…seems like she wants to make loads of money from people without actually having to really work for it. Her novels will be forgotten in less than 5 years and in literary history.

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