16. Carlisle

Chapter Synopsis

In this chapter, we continue learning about Carlisle (or Carlizzle, as we’d rather call him), and how he became the vampire that he is. Edward and Bella go to visit Carlisle in his study — which resembles a college dean’s office, Bella informs us. Edward begins in on his family history, utilizing a wall of painted portraits and landscapes — “The London of my youth,” Carlizzle spake. Carlisle asks Edward to tell the story, as he needs to scurry off to the hospital to work.

Carlizzle, we discover, was pretty repulsed at becoming a vampire and thirsting for people’s blood; he tried to throw himself off cliffs, drown himself, starve himself, etc. One night, he was so weak and hungry that he ate Bambi — and discovered animal blood was nearly as satisfying as human blood. And so Carlizzle the veggie-pire was born. He swam to France to better educate himself, and then became a doctor.

As the story progresses, Bella keeps interrupting Edward, and he keeps waiting for it to become “too much” for her, and for her to run away. But she’s a stupid lamb, remember, Eddie?

Edward continues — it took Carlisle over two centuries to become almost immune to the scent of human blood. It was in Italy that Carlise found the “other” civilized vampires, who tried to convince him to give human blood another chance. But Carlizzle only wanted to find other veggie-pires. He eventually ended up in Chicago, and was there in the early 20th century when the Spanish Influenza hit. He finally created Edward.

Here Bella asks if Edward has stayed with Carlisle ever since, and Edward admits he strayed for a bit (during those “rebellious years”) when he wanted to try human blood. But our perfect vampy boy has a conscience (and can read everyone else’s), and eventually returned to Carlisle’s side.

With the story now over, Edward leads Bella up to his bedroom. It’s not what Bella expects — one whole wall is made of glass, there are lots of CDs and a sweet sound system, and no bed. More unnecessary details follow about how Ed categorizes his music collection. Edward is still expecting Bella to run away at any moment, but she bursts his bubble by informing him that he doesn’t scare her. At all. (Okay, well, maybe a little, but why should that matter?)

Edward then payfully growls and pounces on Bella, knocking her onto the couch in an extremely cliche moment. Then they cuddle for a bit, and a handful of the Cullens walk in to find Bella perched on Edward’s lap. This is not weird to them. Dancing Alice actually seems to approve. The Cullens then invite Bella to come with them that evening to play baseball, because it’s the American pasttime, damnit.

Best Worst Lines

“‘I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re really not as scary as you think you are. I don’t find you scary at all, actually,’ I lied casually.” (345)

“Jasper, however, paused at the door, his expression a trifle shocked.” (346)   (Not really shocked. Not slightly shocked. A trifle shocked.)

“‘It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share,’ Alice announced.” (346)

Things That Really Irk Us

We’re getting sick of Edward asking Bella if she’s scared yet. This can stop now.

It worries us that Bella isn’t repulsed by the fact that Edward ran off for a couple years in order to eat people. In fact, she seems to take this information in stride. We’re not sure we’d have the same reaction… at all.

Why must Alice dance everywhere? We get that she’s all graceful and nimble and all, but does she really need to be doing leaps and pirouettes to get from point A to point B? We think not.

Final Thoughts

We actually kinda like Carlisle. Too bad the story is not about him. We found about eight or nine pages of this chapter to be bearable. Shock! But, alas, it has come and gone. And now it’s on to veggie-pire baseball.

Go to Chapter 17.

7 Responses to “16. Carlisle”

  1. […] did some updating today, too! We added the next four (yes, four!) chapters. So go check out 14, 15, 16, and 17. Only a handful of chapters left to go! (Cue […]

  2. You know a book is bad when the minor character who only gets 9 pages of back story is more interesting than the main characters.

  3. Exactly, Kate.

  4. My favorite character has to be Charlie. Poor, long suffering Charlie. I like the guy who played him in the movie. I don’t know why, but the man amuses me!

    Carlizzle has a story at least… but now whenever I see a Carlisle truck… I think of this damn book. *Sigh*

  5. They’re indestructible vampires and the most interesting sport that they can come up with is baseball? Really?

    • It’s because Smeyer doesn’t have the creativity to create Quidditch. Although – if she had created a sport – would you really want to read through the “International [insert created sport name here] League Official Rules and Regulations Handbook” that would doubtlessly be inscribed word for word in the book?

  6. You know what…that’s what I used to call Carlisle too xD

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