Little Things That Really Irk Us

These are all the little things that bother us about the movie that don’t really fit into any comprehensive review. But we still feel the urge to complain about them anyway.

The fact that the movie has a really good soundtrack. Piss. We knew about Muse waaaay before you did, SMeyer. Like before they were even played in the U.S. So ha.

The lip biting! We wish KStew would just gnaw them off already.

The fact that Forks High School is supposed to be so “tiny,” and yet has a swim team, a biochem class, and a really nice, classy prom with ice sculptures. WE went to a small high school, and this is NOT how it goes.

Bella using her cell phone like a walkie-talkie. Talk on it normal, bitch!

The fact that Bella’s iPod headphones stay in when she almost gets crushed by a van.

The vampires don’t try to jump Tyler when he’s bleeding after crashing his van. Why the hell not??

Our explanation:   DA: Because they don’t like chocolate.     SM: Racist vampires.

The pea coat. Uggghhh. Especially when he pops his collar. Double uggghhh.

All the Forks kids being really immature and annoying.

The way the “bad” vampires dress. All GQ like, instead of like nomads. And in furs. Also, Victoria should have fire-red hair, and she doesn’t. This irks us.

Bella’s Internet connection is supposed to be slooooow.

How much time Edward spends in trees. Is this a pre-requisite for being a veggie-pire?

“You’d better hang on tight, spider monkey.” Really? Really???

The dialogue that’s been taken straight from the book, and is even worse when said aloud. (Like the heroin line, and the “So the lion fell in love with the lamb” exchange.)

The script trying to make Charlie and Billy sound hip. Such as Billy saying, “Just keepin’ it real, son.”

Charlie dragging Billy’s chair up the front steps. Haven’t they been friends long enough for Charlie to build a ramp already??

Stephenie Meyer making a cameo in one of the diner scenes. Who do you think you are, SMeyer? Alfred Hitchcock? Peter Jackson? No. You deserve no cameo.

Bella’s construction boots she wears to the baseball game. WTF?

That there is nice sketch paper and apparently a charcoal pencil on hand in their Phoenix hotel room.

How easily Bella escapes from Jasper and Alice. It wasn’t even a challenge!

The lame vampire fight, and how easy it seems to be to kill James.

Edward sucking the “venom” out of Bella’s arm. This irked us in the book, and it irks us in the film, too. Plus, the look on his face is both priceless and painful.

All the montages in this movie. They are unnecessary. And dumb.

The outfit Bella wears to prom. She’s trying waaaayyy to hard to be indie and hip. Spider Monkey got her revenge on this, though. When she was in New York City, Planet Hollywood had Bella and Edward’s prom outfits on display, and she took plenty of disgusted photos with them.

How long this movie is. BOOM. Bothered.

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8 Responses to “Little Things That Really Irk Us”

  1. i approve. WHOLE HEARTEDLY. except on your version of IS monday, we didn’t finish the movie. because people got distracted. hahhhhhahaha. 🙂

  2. I said the SAME thing when I saw SMeyer at the diner. I was like “Really? Really? Hitch would be so dissapointed in you… he would probably sick Norman Baits and the birds on you…” In fact that’s not a bad idea…. Maybe we should bring Hitch back to life….

  3. Thank you! What’s with the way they managed to make the characters of Edward and Bella even MORE annoying? x.x

  4. When my friend and I were watching twilight to make fun of it we noticed that there are about 4 huge packages of bottled water on the counter right next to the sink and bella goes all the way across the kitchen gets a glass and fills it up with water from the sink. Really Bella? Really?

  5. You forgot the wings behind Edward in Biology class…*gags*
    Everything else-brilliant!

  6. What about the ugly-ass face he makes after he reveals to Bella that he sparkles in the sun?? lol! I completely agree with your list though 😀

  7. What was with the pale blue tint through the whole movie? It was very distracting. But then I have ADD. See, I’m getting distracted right now. Also, Robert Pattinson can’t sing, can he? Seriously, his song in the movie SUCKED!

    • He’s probably a better singer than he is an actor… Which might not be saying much…

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