22. Flight

Chapter Synopsis

Bella, Alice and Edward are released from the Volturi, but cannot leave Volterra until nightfall. The threesome sit in the office near the receptionist, Gianna, waiting for night to fall so that they can leave without being sparkly. Bella is shaking and sobbing because of the people that she saw and overheard being herded like cattle to the Volturi for an evening meal. The next few pages are filled with Bella’s tired rants about trying to beat her heavy eyelids so as not to take her eyes off of her precious Eddie-kins, who has her wrapped in his big grey cloak like a baby in a swaddling cloth.

Demetri returns hours later, letting them know that they are free to go, but that they can’t linger in the city. While the day has sucked, Bella is really excited that Alice hid her bags and that she has the comfort of her bristly Oral-B with two, plaque-fighting rotating heads to look forward to. 

Once they are on the plane to Atlanta, Bella orders a Coke to keep her up for the 13+ hour flight from Italy, to avoid those pesky nightmares she always has. Bella and Edward sit, cuddling, on the plane ride — completely mute.

Suddenly, they are at the Sea-Tac airport (completely bypassing Atlanta…? Unless there is an Atlanta, Washington we are unaware of) and Esme, Carlizzle and Jasper are waiting behind some pillars for them. Esme scolds Edward and hugs Bella, and Carlizzle thanks Bella endlessly. As they walk to the parking deck, Rosalie and Emmett are waiting, and Esme pushes Edward and Bella toward them since they all need to talk about how Rosalie fucked up and almost got Ed killed.

Bella, very droopily, gets in the car with Edward, and Rosalie apologizes with a sincerity that startles Bella. Bella forgives her in hopes that Rosalie will hate her less, and even blames herself for jumping off the cliff. Edward decides they’re on OK terms as well. Bella falls asleep to the engine’s purr.

Bella finds herself conscious again in Edward’s arms as he is walking her into her house. Charlie is infuriated, and Bella keeps mumbling in defense of Edward and the terrible way he treated her that lead to the gaping holes of the last few months. Oh, what a dumbass. Charlie wants to kill Eddiekins, who lets Bella try to walk on her own and saves her before she nearly faints on the concrete again. Edward takes her up to her room, promising Charlie he will leave straight away, but telling Bella he will be in later — just like old times.

Best Worst Lines

“‘Are you all right?’ Edward asked under his breath, too low for the human woman to hear. His voice was rough — if velvet can be rough — with anxiety.”

“‘I think she’s having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her,’ Alice suggested.

Edward threw a frantic glance at her.

Then I understood. Oh. The noise was me. The ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest.
That’s what was shaking me.” (486)

“To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wasteful — insanity.” (486)

“It was heaven — right smack in the middle of hell.” (491)

“I’d forgotten that I had access to a toothbrush. It brightened my outlook considerably.” (492)

Things That Really Irk Us

Bella’s willingness to forgive Edward so easily. You’re pathetic and we sort of hope this relationship becomes physically abusive because we think that perhaps a few knocks around by vampykins might knock some sense into you. We think Alice was on the right track with the suggestion of a few slaps.

That Bella is so weak in Edward’s presence. She runs around on her own to try to find him and save him, but the SECOND she’s near him, she swoons and becomes so weak she can’t stay on her feet.

In every chapter she is swooning, fainting and/or sleeping. This seems like a deeeeeeeeep relationship she has with Edward. Deeper than anybody can imagine.

Final Thoughts

We’re almost to the end of the book. Could it really get any more painful to read? Will we ever hear any of Bella’s questions that she is itching so much to ask Edward? Will he answer them if she stops ‘biting her tongue/lips’? Are we on the edge of our seats? Answers: Probably not, we don’t care, and hellz no.

Go to Chapter 23.

11 Responses to “22. Flight”

  1. […] The Goodies Continue… Well, they aren’t necessarily goodies. It’s sort of like reaching into a box of Dots and pulling out your least favorite one, but they’re Dots so you’re excited for their sugary goodness anyway. Catch our drift? Despite the distance, we have been working relatively diligently over the past few days to try to get all the way through New Moon – and we’re almost there! So here are Chapters 21 and 22. […]

  2. Does she really talk about her tooth brush? Seriously?

    Calling Charlie “Claude” cracks me up to no end.

    Never, ever be without a tooth brush. It can make your entire life better. It’s amazing what a tooth brush can do for your life. That is a really amuzing line…

  3. I never got the thing about the toothbrush. Surely he’s too busy trying not to eat her to worry about her breath?

  4. I just saw a group of people get slaughtered. Oh! But I have a toothbrush! Well this just makes my day a lot better! 😀

    Gaaah X_X Bella is so retarded. She seemed decent in the beginning of the series – albeit annoying, pompus, and condescending. I’m thinking that she fainted, and hit her head on something. That would explain her lack of… common sense/normal brain.

  5. You hope that this relationship gets physically abusive? Isn’t that going a bit far?

    • Probably. … We get carried away sometimes when reading this crap.

    • It’s not going far, at all. When you exhibit behavior like Bella’s, it’s just a matter of time. The saddest thing is that from reading these synopses, so far, something tells me Bella would just take it and believe she deserved it; because, every time something bad happens to her, she blames it on her humanity, her plain looks, her clumsiness–herself.

  6. The thing that makes me the saddest is that this series could have actually been good… if in the hands of a proper writer who knew what in the blue blazes he/she was doing. SMeyer needs to learn the difference between loving your characters and LOVING your characters. That is not a healthy relationship. Then again, she is the queen of the unhealthy relationship.

    • Yes, you’re right. The series could have had potential, in the hands of a more capable author. Then again, she’s a millionnaire now, so I guess enough people were duped into thinking that it’s good…

  7. So Bella is freaking out because the Volturi are killing people, when only a few chapters ago she was all ‘oh, I’d still love Deadward even if he was a bad vamp who killed people. Love is irrational.’
    Guess what, Bella, you are irrational, you hypocritical bitch!

    • Hahaha. Yeah, “irrational” describes a lot of things in the book. Including the non-plot.

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