Epilogue: Choice

Chapter Synopsis

The epilogue, slightly confusingly, is written from Jacob’s perspective. He must be feeling better, because he’s out sitting on the cliffs with a whiny Leah. She’s asking Jacob how much longer he’s going to be, and he’s feeling “crazy annoyed.” He tells her to go jump off a cliff. (Very original, Jake.) Leah asks Jake to step back for a minute and look at things from her perspective — being as connected as they are, he’s got her (and the rest of the pack) grieving for the “leech-lover” that they don’t even really like. Jacob tells her to shut up and go away, but she keeps going, pointing out that Bella’s going to marry Edward, and then he’s going to bite her; maybe even kill her.

This nearly makes Jacob fursplode, but he’s able to calm himself down. Wanting to hurt Leah back, he asks her how she thinks it makes the other guys feel to see Sam through her gaga eyes. This hits a nerve with her, and she runs off. Jacob doesn’t even care that Sam will yell at him for that later.

He gets to thinking about Bella. Although he’s upset she’s giving up everything to turn into a monster, he realizes he’d be much, much more upset if she truly died. He knows he’ll just have to put unwanted trust in Edward to keep her alive. Then he starts thinking about how different Bella will be; he wonders if HE’LL want to kill her.

Tired of thinking such morbid thoughts (and because he’s hungry), Jacob heads home. He immediately regrets this decision, because he realizes from Billy’s over-the-top attempt to remain casual, that there must be something Billy wants to avoid bringing up. But eventually Billy can’t ramble on about his day or the other wolf families anymore, and he broaches the subject — a wedding invitation came in the mail today, and there’s a letter inside it for Jacob.

Controlling himself as best he can, Jake opens the letter. It’s from Edward. Apparently, Bella didn’t want to send Jacob and invitation and make him feel obligated to attend, but Edward is breaking the rules. He says if it was the other way around, he’d at least want to choice. He thanks Jacob for everything.

Jake nearly breaks the table in his agony. He starts shedding his clothes, running for the woods. He phases, and Embry and Quil are “running,” too. Jacob doesn’t want to “talk” to them, even though Embry expresses his sympathy. Jacob just keeps running. Sam tells Embry and Quil to phase back and let Jacob go. They do, and Jake just keeps on running.

Best Worst Lines

“I remembered back to when I used to think that Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long time ago. No one thought of her that way now. Except for Sam. He was never going to forgive himself. Like it was his fault that she’d turned into this bitter harpy.”

“If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to be alone again was to be human, and I couldn’t stand the pain.”   (Sounds like he’s taking a leaf out of Bella’s book here…)

Things That Really Irk Us

This point of view shift is just weird. SMeyer is clearly trying to go for a different, more devil-may-care tone for Jacob’s thoughts, but it just comes off as clunky and juvenile. SMeyer, you have clearly never been an angsty teenage boy. You should just stick to what you know — 12-year-old girl delusions. Seriously.

Final Thoughts 

We’re done! Finally!! It sure took long enough. We’ve now made it through ¾ of this terrible series. It’s gotten increasingly more difficult to keep up with the project, mostly because this shit just keeps getting worse. There’s still no real plot, the characters still suck, and we’re still struggling to understand why all of this is so popular.

But now we’re on to “Breaking Dawn.” And, from what we hear, it’s gonna be a real doozy.

Read on with us!

10 Responses to “Epilogue: Choice”

  1. Congratulations! xD

    …on to the rumored worst book of the series – and if the first three are already *awful*, I wonder how the “worst” would be. O.O

  2. Actually, I’m ok with this Epilogue.

    Like you said, it’s stupid, it’s juvenile and unrealistic. However, escaping Bella’s empty head for a while was refreshing. I even liked his running. Yes, it’s horribly mediocre, but it’s bearable without Bella’s whiny little self.

    Good luck on “Breaking Dawn”! Can’ wait for your reviews!

  3. Glad you survived! Though I do believe the worst is yet to come…. CREEPY shit.

    This epilogue is weird to me. I get that she might want to leave Bella for a while, thank goodness, but it’s just WEIRD. You don’t just randomly at the end of a book switch point of views… confusing.

  4. good job on making it through this god awful story. I feel so sorry for you guys have to suffer “Breaking Dawn”. I read it and let just say it weird. Goo dluck you two and I can’t wait to see your reaction to “Breaking Dawn”

  5. Congrats guys! Can’t wait for the Freaking Spawn review!

    On a different note, I feel really sorry for Leah. Why is it that Jacob gets sympathy for his heartbreak but Leah is just considered an annoyance? Plus, mouth-rape Jacob and all his other teddy-bear wolves can have as many puppies as they’d like, but Leah is infertile. They’re very shocked when she becomes a teddy-wolf, but instead of becoming kickass like the rest of them she’s a “burden” and a “harpy” because of Sam. Don’t even get me started on the Sam-Emily-Leah thing.

  6. I feel for you guys. Breaking Dawn is awful, even my friends who actually like twilight say it’s bad.
    I wanted to tear out and burn most of it right after reading it.

  7. Nice, now prepare yourself for the horror to come. While I’ve never read Breaking Dawn I know enough about it that you will likely need lots and lots of alochol. If you can make it through the whole process of Bella’s turning without flying into a rage and burning the book I will be impressed.

  8. Gird your loins, ladies, and keep a bottle handy. I’m not looking forward to this anymore than you are… well, maybe a little more, since you’re actually reading it and I get to read your thoughts on it. Give us an address and we’ll send you some wine. Or vodka. Or whatever you need.

  9. be brave.

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