19. Selfish

Chapter Synopsis

We begin with Bella being carried… as per usual. Then, she magically awakes in the comfort of her very own bed in the middle of the day all cuddly next to her cold Eddie-kins. Over an intimate breakfast of pop tarts and Edward’s stares, he notices the bracelet that Jacob gave to Bella. He doesn’t mind… no, no — but he feels like she needs to represent Team Edward too! What kind of girlfriend is she?!

Eddie-kins’ attention is taken away from the conversation/argument at hand when Alice calls to discuss something she had seen involving Bella. When Edward asks her, Bella admits she agrees with Jasper’s plan of her being in the thick of the battle. She wants to be ‘useful.’ Edward points out that Bella is stupid and klutzy and that she will just end up lost in the forest trying to find the Cullens rather than hidden away in a corner FAR from danger.  Bella thinks she can play ”the werewolves like me” card, but her stupid, selfish bubble is burst when Edward points out that Jacob is second-in-command. Oh shit son. Bella loses, because Jacob loves her and wants her to stay safe and will agree with his new bff, Edward.

On top of it all, Edward has been able to read the pack’s minds and shares some of their deep, dark secrets with Bella — e.g.: the little gray wolf is a CHICK! (Oh shit, SMeyer just flipped our world upside down by contradicting her own legend. How unexpected.) Turns out Leah Clearwater, Sam’s ex and Harry’s daughter, is a little furball herself. There’s some SERIOUS dirt too, like the fact that Embry’s mother is not Quileute and that he is a bastard of Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of whom were married at the point when he was conceived.

Bella, however, must go back to the subject of her being in the clearing… blah… blah… blah. But wait, she pulls the ‘you left me and I went crazy, I can’t stand it if you leave me again’ card. Bad move, you bitch. Thank god Edward has a brain and points out he’s not going to be far away and that she needs to realize she’s being a selfish bitch and change her mind. Alice calls and Edward asks that she babysit Bella while he talks to Jasper about important things (like, how to kill Bella?). Unfortunately, Edward admits to giving in to Bella and is going to ask Jasper to let him sit out. Lame.

Alice arrivs and orders Bella to clean up because she looks like a slob. Claude is SUPER excited to see Alice, who pulls some ‘the family left me to go hiking and I’m sad now’ act to get Claude to invite her to stay with the Swans. In the end, Alice convincs Bella to let Claude come up with the bright idea that Bella stay with Alice at her house. (The Swans are sharp, yessir they are.) Edward returns a bit later to surprise Bella with the news that Alice will be going hunting and that HE will be staying with her. The trio head out to the clearing for a little Cullen family time — wrestling boys, girls watching from the sidelines, Esme and Carlizzle holding hands and nuzzling…. aww. When the wolves show up, they work together with the Cullens to train for the newborns.

Jacob stays with Bella to protect her while the rest of them train, and they have a little bonding time — probably because Jacob is a wolf and can’t talk ,and Bella is petting him and talking to him like he’s her dog. Bella shares one of her deepest darkest secrets: that she always wanted a dog, but her mother being allergic did not allow that to happen. She shares her fears about the outcome of the big throw down on Saturday and dog-Jacob just nuzzles her. Bella also points out that they have a long hike ahead of them the following day. Jacob just barks enthusiastically. 

The emotions in the air are a bit nostalgic for Bella, who has not felt so close to Jacob in so long and can really feel the ‘old him’ coming out in this doggy form.

Best Worst Lines

“I swallowed noisily. ‘Um, sure.'”   (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID — badum-dum-ch… we couldn’t help it.)

“‘Don’t you think it’s fair, then,’ he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. ‘If I have a little representation?’


‘A charm — something to keep me on your mind.’

‘You’re in every thought I have. I don’t need reminders.'” (413)


“His eyes narrowed. ‘Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?’

‘Easy.’ I shrugged. ‘You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you . That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.'” (413)    (*We just threw up in our mouths a little bit.*)

“‘No wonder you like to skip the parties,’ he muttered. ‘It takes you so long to recover.’

“They weren’t monsters, even like this. They were friends. Friends who didn’t look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didn’t seem to understand the danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who could die…”

“The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.”

Things That Really Irk Us

Bella playing the weak damsel that has lost the use of her legs is REALLY beyond old. Edward playing her ‘dark’ white night is just annoying, and Jacob being the awkward third wheel is beginning to irk us as well.

We think that, given the opportunity, Claude would totally do Alice… and Alice would like it.

Edward left Bella. Bella keeps reminding him that she forgave him but she KEEPS holding it over his head. These two really need to look into a legal separation of some sort. Or maybe Bella just needs to die.

Final Thoughts

If nothing else, at least this chapter holds true to its title. Bella is an unbelievably selfish bitch.

Go to Chapter 20.

12 Responses to “19. Selfish”

  1. […] read Chapter 19 […]

  2. I’m excited this is up! I discovered this site a few weeks ago and spent an entire morning reading from the first book on, with a few vomit breaks in between due to an overdose of angst. Anyway, I love these.

    I don’t know WHAT they’re going to do with Eclipse the movie. Nothing even happens in this book. Bella is angsty, Edward is creepy, and Jacob is, well, he’s Jacob.

    • maybe it’ll just be a very short film. which would be a very good thing because i’m going to have to watch it if i want to be able to honestly say it’s crap and know it for sure. it will be, it’s based off thid crap isnt it?, but i’ll have to watch it before i can diss it. *sighs regretfully* i’ll probably fall asleep.

  3. I just threw up in my mouth a bit too. I feel like all of this is so rehashed… it just keeps going around in boring circles… over and over and over again. I give you guys a lot of credit for getting through the books the way you are.

    My responce, Bella just needs to die.

  4. Welcome back, ladies. I’ve noticed a pattern with these books, which is: angst, angst, angst, Bella falls over, angst, talking and maybe some nuzzling, more angst, talking about some big showdown that will inevitably come up later, angst, Bella gets carried, more angst, and then a short action scene that is way less dramatic than we all thought it would be, some happiness, and the end. Plegh. This could be accomplished in a hundred pages or less, but apparently SMeyer wants to torture us by droning on for hundreds of pages, thereby boring us until our minds disintegrate. Yawn.

  5. Nice! I had been waiting for this one. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t discovered this site but maybe discover it a few days before being fully reviewed lol. Nice job, guys! 🙂

    • Yeah, we know waiting around for our updates probably gets a little annoying and tedious. But we’re doing our best! Glad you’re still enjoying it.

      • Let me just tell you you guys do a great job in making me laugh. It’s the sarcasm, the funny little observations, this site is awesome. 😀

  6. I agree with Morganne – each book is just a repeat of the last one. Bella hurts herself, Ed rescues her. Bella bitches whenever Ed leaves her. She becomes ill with the holeiosis. Bella’s bitches need to fight evil, Bella gets cranky when no one’s paying attention to her.


    Bella needs to die.

  7. I totally agree. Bella needs to die.

  8. “traced my viens”? Seriously? That’s creepy. But at least he’s not tracing anything else.

    PS: I second that. Bella should have died two books ago.

  9. Apparently the readers´ common sense usually dies after a few pages which makes the book less desturbing. Good thing there are people who are immun agains the tvirus. ^^

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