4. Waking Up

Chapter Synopsis

The chapter begins with a short prologue. In it, Bella lets us know that time passes, even when it seems impossible; even when it aches. Oh that aching time.

The actual chapter opens with Charlie and Bella at the breakfast table. Over a bowl of cereal, Charlie is telling Bella that he wants to send her back to Jacksonville because she’s being so emo and lifeless. Bella informs us that she hasn’t really done anything wrong, perse, but she’s just been going through the motions since dear Edward vanished. Which means she’s completely ostracized herself from everybody in Forks. Charlie suggests Bella make a visit to a shrink. Naturally, she’ll hear nothing of it. Charlie continues trying to talk some sense into our angsty Bella, but Bella just gets pissed and storms out, leaving early for school.

Since she arrives well before classes begin, Bella whips out her Calculus book for a bit of light reading. Blah blah blah. Trying to appease Charlie somewhat (yes, we’re shocked, too), Bella builds up the courage to ask Jessica out to a movie that evening in Port Angeles. Apparently Jessica and Bella haven’t talked over the past four months because Bella’s been living in her angsty, hazy world, but Jessica accepts anyway. They decide to go see a zombie flick titled “Dead End.” Wow S. Meyer — you are so subtle.

During the drive to Port Angeles, Bella flips the channel to some rap music so she doesn’t have to hear any sappy lyrics, and gets Jessica talking about her love life. Which frees up Bella to completely ignore her.

The movie begins with a couple walking down the beach, hand-in-hand, which of course is too much for Bella. She leaves to get some popcorn, and takes her dear old time. Near the end, Bella realizes who the newly-turned zombies in the movie resemble — herself! She freaks out again, and claims she needs to go get a drink. This (understandably) irks Jessica, but Bella claims later that the movie was just a bit too scary for her.

After the movie, the girls decide to go to dinner. Bella, as usual, is extremely passive about the whole situation and offers up no input. She’s also clearly ignoring Jessica, who beings to get even more peeved.

On the way to a McDonald’s, they pass by a bar called One-Eyed Pete’s where four dark figures are sitting outside. Bella is reminded of another dark night in Port Angeles with four dark figures in an ally, and suddenly she is inspired. She wants to be dangerous. So she slowly (and we mean slooooowwwwllly, like six pages slowly) inches her way across the street. As she does so, the haze she’s been operating in begins to lift, and Bella begins to hear a familiar growling voice telling her not to be stupid. But Bella decides it’s time to rebel against that angel voice (about time!), and goes over to the four men anyway.

These four men are not, in fact, the creepers that almost raped Bella a year before, and Bella seems almost upset about this. She makes some awkward small talk with them, and eventually returns to Jessica, who is beyond pissed at this point. They drive home in silence.

When Bella gets dropped off at home, she rushes inside, trying to avoid talking to Charlie. All she wants to do is escape to her room and be extra angsty about Edward. And extra angsty she is, talking about gaping holes in her chest and other pleasantries. She hopes that, by morning, she’ll have slipped back into her state of numbness.

Best Worst Lines

“Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.” (93)

“Not that I hadn’t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once — just never a grotesque, animated corpse.” (106)

“It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voice — soft like velvet, even though it was irate.” (111)

“I could see no option three, so I hoped it was the second option and this was just my subconscious running amuck, rather than something I would need to be hospitalized for.” (112)   (Please note the weird spelling of what should be amok.)

“I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. … The trade-off was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I’d chosen nothing.” (113)

“It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be in tact, yet I gasped for ait and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn’t hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.” (118)

“I was alert, I felt the pain — the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head — but it was manageable.” (118)

Things That Really Irk Us

Numb numb numb. (Not to be confused with OM NOM NOM, mind you, but close.) Meyer tries to stick Bella in a dark place, but it doesn’t work. At all. We’d rather Bella just take the razor blade to her wrists and get it over with. We do, however, feel for Mike, Jessica, and even the unsuspecting men at One-Eyed Pete’s. Bella is a little whiny whore, and we’re sorry they have to deal with her.

Final Thoughts

Bella should reconsider keeping that promise she made to Edward. It would save both her and us (though, mostly us, because she isn’t believeable) a lot of pain.

Go to Chapter 5.

14 Responses to “4. Waking Up”

  1. […] with om-nom-nom: we don’t want to eat this shit up…at all).  We reviewed chapters four and five and read through chapter eight (page 201). Luckily for us, we also discovered a nifty […]

  2. I’m starting to think that I should try my hand at fiction, because it can’t be too hard to write better than this. Bella is such a bitch, especially because she ignores her “friend”. She should see a shrink because hearing voices like that is a sign of schizophrenia.

  3. Dr. Phil would have smacked her by this point.

    This book is emo to the core… I hate it so much.

  4. how many people have been thrown into a depression because of this book seriously? Would this book explain the emo cliques in school loving this book so much.

  5. “Between pain and nothing, I’d chosen nothing.”

    Wait… “I would chosen nothing?”
    What the HELL, SMeyer!?

    By the way, I love this website so far. Thanks so much for the lulz. 🙂

  6. “Amuck” is the British spelling =P

    Not sure why SMeyer chose to use it though. Maybe she thinks using British spelling makes her look smarter? Or maybe she didn’t know the word “amuck” and some English person she knew suggested it?

  7. “pass it does, even for me.” well we are all glad that time is not showing any favoritism.

  8. Oh how I wish someone would put a hole in her chest. And I mean literally. With a bullet.

  9. Or just something that will kill her would be nice.
    Maybe SMeyer had a bad childhood, is emo herself, and cant be bothered to write crappy emo poetry that no one will read, but a set of books that unfortunately almost everyone has read and cant stop talking about. even if it is to say its crap.

  10. Grotesque animated corpse. That’s pretty much the definition of a vampire, right? At least it was before four certain piles of horse poop disguised as books came into being.

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