2. Evasion

Chapter Summary

Bella is free at last, and is reveling in said freedom. She’s oddly happy at school (as is everyone else, since graduation is swiftly approaching), and she’s also keeping Charlie’s request in mind. At lunch, the topic of graduation comes up, and Bella offers to help Angela (her one remaining human friend) address announcements, revealing that she’s finally un-grounded.

Alice is super excited, and the talk moves to ways in which the gang can celebrate Bella’s freedom. Bella’s mind wanders, though (she’s so attentive to her friends), and she finds herself thinking about Jacob. She’s brought back to reality when she notices Alice slipping into her trance-like vision state. Alice and Edward brush it off as daydreaming to Angela and Ben, but Bella knows better. She’s determined to ask Eddie-kins what Alice saw, but he seems to be avoiding any situation that would allow her to bring it up. He even offers car help to Mike (suspiciousssss).

Edward drives Bella home and follows her up to her room, where he gives her an especially steamy kiss. Then he smiles crookedly. Bella replies to an e-mail from her mom while she and Edward calm down on opposite sides of the room. Bella prattles on in her thoughts for a while about her mother’s irresponsibility (which comes off as especially pompous and annoying), and is irked by Renee asking about Jacob. We are irked by this entire section.

As Bella is typing away, Edward is going through her closet. Not creepy. Definitely normal. He finds the remnants of the stereo that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper bought her for her 18th birthday — the one that she yanked out of her truck when Ed dumped her way back when. He also conveniently stumbles upon the vouchers for airline tickets that Carlizzle and Esme bought for Bella. They’re about to expire, and Edward suggests they use them — this very weekend — to go visit Renee in Jacksonville. Even though Bella is very tempted to see her mother, she decides it’s too early to try to push her freedom that far. She knows Charlie wouldn’t approve.

Bella finally asks Edward what Alice saw at lunch, and Edward brushes it off as Alice seeing confusing things about Jasper. Bella convinces herself that her imagination is simply out of control.

To soften the blow of Edward being in the house at all hours again, Bella makes Charlie’s favorite dish for dinner — stroganoff (we wonder if it was beef stroganoff?). Charlie is happy. He informs Bella that Billy has invited them down to La Push that weekend for a playoff party. (We are wondering what sports have playoffs in May/June? Are they really that into hockey in Forks?) Bella ignores this and starts in on the dishes.

Edward, meanwhile, ignores Bella’s wishes and brings up the plane tickets with Charlie. How considerate. Charlie, as predicted, does not approve of Eddie accompanying his daughter to Florida for the weekend. Bella pulls the whole, “I’m an adult and you can’t tell me what to do anymore” card like a mature woman, and then storms out of the house with Edward (also the mark of maturity). She yells at Ed in the car, but of course can’t stay mad at him. They go to say hi to Esme, and Bella watches Ed and Alice play chess. Riveting.

When Bella gets home, Charlie is waiting for her. They have “the talk” (though the word “sex” still is missing from SMeyer’s vocabulary… lame). Bella is mortified, and assures Claude that she’s still a virgin, and plans to stay that way.

Charlie eventually brings up Jacob again and their deal, and Bella decides to try and sneak down to La Push to pay him a late-night visit. But Edward is creepily sitting in her truck, twirling some vital part of her engine like those nuns in “The Sound of Music.” Bella forgot about Alice and her visions. Bella is pissed at Ed, but it doesn’t stop her from leaving her window wide open for him to slip in through later on.

Best Worst Lines

“I FELT ODDLY BUOYANT AS I WALKED FROM SPANISH toward the cafeteria, and it wasn’t just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it.”   (Barf.)

“Freedom was so close it was touchable, taste-able.”   (Hmm. We wonder what flavor it is?)

“His golden eyes were smoldering, just inches away, and his breath was cool against my open lips. I could taste his scent on my tongue.

I couldn’t remember the witty response I’d been about to make. I couldn’t remember my name.”

“Making the most of my last seconds, I crushed myself closer, molding myself to the shape of him. The tip of my tongue traced the curve of his lower lip; it was as flawlessly smooth as if it had been polished, and the taste —“ (44)

“I saw her cornucopia of mistakes and laughed privately to myself. Scatterbrained Renée.

I was a very different person from my mother. Someone thoughtful and cautious. The responsible one, the grown-up. That’s how I saw myself. That was the person I knew.”   (Wait… wha?)

“My imagination was sadly out of control. I’d taken a perfectly normal afternoon and twisted it until it looked like Edward was going out of his way to keep things from me. I needed therapy.”   (Yes. Yes you do.)

“’Ugh!’ I groaned. ‘I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. Really. But . . . I am a . . . virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.’” (59)   (Could this dialogue be any more unrealistic? Seriously.)

Things That Really Irk Us

Bella continually ignoring her friends. They’re so excited about her freedom from grounding, and she goes off to la-la land, as usual. Bitch.

Bella bad-mouthing her mom and her “scatterbrained” ways. You have no room to talk, Bella. You are too fucked up for words.

The sex talk. Laaaaaame.

The way the unhealthy Bella/Eddie-kins relationship is progressing. First Bella spends all day convinced that Edward is hiding something from her. Then he ignores her wishes and brings up the plane tickets with Charlie. Then Bella sneaks out of her own house to try and see Jacob, and Ed is waiting creepily in her car to prevent her from going. This is not how a loving couple behaves!!

Final Thoughts

However will Eddie avoid the Florida sunshine??

Go to Chapter 3.

10 Responses to “2. Evasion”

  1. How did Bella rip out her stereo??? That sounds… odd.

    We kind of know how Bella got to be such an idiot… her mother isn’t much better.

    Is it just me or does Bella seem, at least for the moment, just a little bit more concerned about what Claude thinks? I’m sure it won’t last long. Just an observation.

    That’s a good point… I can’t think of a single sport that has playoffs in May… I would assume SMeyer means baseball becase Claude talks about the Marlins a few times… yet another example of her undying stupidity.

    The truck thing bugs me… gotta be honest. At least the Sound of Music nuns were doing to stop the Nazis… what’s Eddie’s excuse? Oh yeah… teenage romance…

    The whole being dazzled by Eddie thing is getting OLD… eventually couples get passed that… even the most attractive people do not look THAT stunningly attractive if you see them every day… or maybe they do, but that doesn’t mean that we need to hear it EVERY time!

    Yeah… it’s a crazy messed up relationship and it just keeps getting worse! I don’t get it!

  2. I don’t know if you guys have seen this yet, but it is SO funny. It is just… how I wish Clade really was.

  3. “Freedom was so close it was touchable, taste-able.”

    whatever happened to “Freedom was so close I could almost taste it.” (or something like that) classic? She could have used it and passed it off as a funny cliche. But of course, Bella’s too.. speshul to use such words.

  4. This is unbelievable! How can anyone talk about their mother like that? And how can someone with half an centimeter of gratitude treat their father with such disrespect? Did Smeyer stop and think what how this would affect the teenage girls reading this shit?
    “’Ugh!”- Just that should have made Charlie bitch-slap that little whiny princess into next week. As for saying “Scatterbrained Renée” Wtf? You’re basically calling your mom ditzy, right? What a role model Bella is! I am considering driving to Arizona and burning Smeyer’s house down with only her in it (her poor children, they deserve a better parent that some fat mormon who fantasizes about sexual experiences)

  5. Bella is “someone thoughtful and cautious. The responsible one, the grown-up.” Seriously!? That is beyond unbelievable.

  6. I do agree that I found it very annoying that bella is always ALWAYS ignoring her friends. Then she would come on them only when she needs them (like when she went to movies on new moon with jessica..and practically ignoring her being on the blank/emo/angsty/zombie mode (which is nearly all the time).

    I dont know why the friends even bother *shrugs*

    and gotta love bella rite? because she’s the responsible one, and the grown-up. DUH!

  7. “If I’d allow it, she’d love to dress me every day – perhaps several times a day – like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll.”
    Bella, by three dimensional paper doll, do you perhaps mean, a DOLL?
    Why does EVERYTHING have to be so over-complicated??

    Also, if Bella is Smeyer’s idea of ‘mature’ or ‘grown-up’, even in the loosest terms, then she should probably invest in some therapy…

    • Haha. Now, now, SMeyer has to reach her quota for bizarro metaphors and similes in every chapter!

  8. So your mom is “scatterbrained” and you’re the “responsible” one, huh? Pardon me, Belly, but which one of you jumped off a cliff to hallucinate over her ex-boyfriend?

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