7. Unhappy Ending

Chapter Synopsis

This short little chapter is mostly about Rosalie and how she was turned. Rosalie comes to talk to Bella; to have a little heart-to-heart. Rosalie starts out by apologizing for being mean in the past and hurting Bella’s feelings. Unfortunately for Bella, Rosalie is here to try to persuade Bella to stay human. *Queue a storyline from The Notebook.

Rosalie was growing up in the 1930’s. She was gorgeous, and from an upper-middle-class family that supposedly didn’t suffer during the Depression. She was beautiful, and her life was perfect — she was the eldest and only girl with two younger brothers, and was the apple of her mother’s eye. Rosalie was a narcissistic little bitch who made sure she was every person’s desire — but there was a soft spot in her bitchy little heart. She was jealous of her bestest friend, Vera, who was able to marry out of her social class and settle down with a carpenter and start a family. Although, Rosalie didn’t want the dumpy house and wanted perfect blonde babies instead — none of those dark-haired mongrels!

Then, there was Royce King. The Kings were like royalty (please note SMeyer’s subtlety here) in Rosalie’s town, and the set up was PERFECT. He swept her off her feet and they were engaged within two months. 

One day, on her way home from Vera’s, Rosalie was walking home alone, in the dark. Enter a group of five men huddled in the rain around a lamp post. They were basically douches that ripped her clothes off to get a better look, and, while SMeyer never says it outright, we’re pretty sure this is a rape/beating scene. Whoa. And who is one of these creepers? None other than Royce King.

They left her for dead. But then, out of the darkness of the night, Dr. Carlizzle swooped down to scoop her up off of the pavement and take her back to his lair. Finding her beauty wasted if she were to die, he turned her. We discover Rosalie has never tasted human blood, though she did kill each one of the men that attacked her, leaving Royce for last.

Then she explains to Bella how much she loves Edward, and how she was jealous of Bella at first because she was human. But not to worry folks! She only loves Edward like a brother. What really sort of irked Rosalie about Bella was that Edward took a liking to the homely little emo bitch rather than the hot bod of Rosalie’s. So, despite the fact Rosalie is over it, she still doesn’t like Bella, but never explains why she doesn’t.

Enter the Emmett/Rosalie love story. The reason Rosalie decided to save Emmett from the bear that was mauling his precious face was because he reminded her of her friend, Vera’s, baby boy, and she just couldn’t let that joy slip through her fingers again. (Weird…)

That night, Bella has nightmares. She’s crawling across a dark, cold stone street in the snow with a trail of blood being left behind her. Then, there’s a shadowy angel in a dress watching with resentful eyes.

Bella and Alice go to school together the next day, and at lunch time, Bella ditches to hop on the back of Jacob’s motorcycle. There’s some lip-curling and snarling on Alice’s end, but the two get away fast enough to have some buddy-buddy time.

Best Worst Lines

“’Did Edward ever tell you what led to this?’ she asked, gesturing to her glorious immortal body.”

“’It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me — for me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been… well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera. So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me, and have pretty babies. That’s what I’d really wanted, all along. It still doesn’t seem like too much to have asked for.’”

“’But you still don’t like me,’ I whispered.

Her smile faded. ‘I’m sorry about that.’”

Things That Really Irk Us

The Rosalie-Bella relationship makes NO sense. She doesn’t hate Bella because she’s emo and pathetic or because she’s angsty and annoying or even because the Cullens are in danger. Why does she hate her? WE DON’T KNOW!! She is over the fact that Edward chose fugly Bella over goddess Rosalie, but she’s “sorry about” the fact she doesn’t like Bella. EXPLAIN THIS! Ugh.

The lack of creativity in Rosalie’s story. We’d rather hear about how Emmett was getting mauled by a bear.

Final Thoughts

We really hope that Jasper has some cool background story… or wait, did we already learn about it? It’s so far from riveting that we may have forgotten. Perhaps it involved sharing chapstick with Alice and getting a little venom on a cold sore. Oh look, we’re better writers than SMeyer.

Vampirism… the new herpes.

Go to Chapter 8.

9 Responses to “7. Unhappy Ending”

  1. […] just added chapters seven and eight for you to read. Chapter 8 is especially amusing to us because Bella is all horny and […]

  2. Wow Meyer outdid herself with the names huh? The King family were like Kings! Who woulda thunk???

    That back story seems really rushed like at the end Meyer realized she needed to have Rose change… I like how she’s super vain too. They don’t even pretend she isn’t. She is just like, “Bitches you know I’m hot. F me.” XD It’s so Rosalie. I also fail to see how her family could have been completly unaffected by the depression! What vocation wasn’t affected????

  3. “Vampirism… the new herpes” Awesome! Love it!

  4. I wonder if the chapstick was cherry… that would mean… Jasper’s gay!!!

  5. I wonder if the chapstick was cherry…
    My English teacher put on cherry chapstick once during class. He regretted it ever since.

    • see, we can write better than SMeyer, about school! our male mat teacher’s ringtone was Mercy by Duffy. he too, has forever regretted it.

  6. Fantastic story, I did not thought this would be so cool when I looked at the title with link!!

  7. I find this disgusting. I mean, to blame people being “too beautiful” for getting raped. Poor Rosalie – but wait, she deserved it, she was too beautiful to remain unraped. It os so obvious that SM hates blondes. So obvious.

  8. SMeyer said this chapter, which featured someone getting GANG RAPED, was her favorite chapter to write. And she wonders why people think she’s a misogynist…

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