4. Nature

Chapter Synopsis

Bella is having a bad week. Good ol’ Vicky is back in the picture, and graduation is looming. And Bella’s whiny begging isn’t doing anything to convince Carlizzle to change her sooner. The Cullens just keep reassuring her that she’ll be safe as long as they’re around. This is not what Bella wants to hear. And, to top it all off, the day we come in on in this chapter is an especially bad one – Eddie-kins is away hunting, and Bella is extra emo. However will she go a WHOLE DAY without her cold-skinned, bloodsucking man friend?

Bella kills time Saturday morning before work by doing things that only serve to make her seem more insane. She eats her Cheerios one by one, lines up all the magnets on the fridge in a nice row, and then holds a conversation with two of them that won’t stick next to each other because their polarities are opposite. … And no, we are not kidding. What are you trying to tell us about yourself SMeyer?

Bella gets to work early, and walks in on Mike and Mrs. Newton arguing about Mike and Tyler making a trip to Seattle, where someone — or something — is still murdering people. Bella feels awkward. She’s made to feel more awkward when Mrs. Newton tells her she can go home; they won’t be busy enough to need her. Bella is irked; now she has even MORE time to kill before going over to Angela’s to help her write out graduation announcements.

On her way out, Mrs. Newton asks Bella to dispose of some fliers in the dumpster outside. The fliers are obnoxious bright yellow things urging people to “SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLF.” Bella is suddenly inspired. She’s only 15 minutes from La Push — close enough to speed there before any of her vampy guards can catch her and prevent her from going to see Jacob.

Bella makes it safely to Jacob’s house, and her shirtless buddy is beyond ecstatic to see her. He sweeps her off her feet and spins her around in a big bear hug. (Gag.) The two start walking, catching up giddily as they head to the beach. It’s all light-hearted until Jacob starts asking about Edward, and how Bella could forgive him and take him back so easily. Bella, of course, defends her Eddie-poo, and relays the events in Italy to Jake. Jacob scowls a lot during the story telling, and utters a few creature slurs that upset Bella. He is, however, jazzed to find out that Alice can’t “see” the werewolves.

Jacob then reciprocates by telling Bella all about the show-down in the woods while she and Ed were away in Florida. Paul and Emmett almost ended up fighting during their hunt for Victoria, but Carlizzle stepped in to mediate things, as usual. But Vicky escaped because of it. Jacob then muses briefly about how things might be now, had Bella not thrown herself off the cliff and set the events in motion that brought the Cullens back again. Bella assures him that Edward would have come back anyway, lest he spend the rest of his life curled up in the fetal position, wallowing in his misery.

Jacob then tells Bella that Sam is mad at her, because she forgave the Cullens instead of hating them. Bella is offended and starts in on Jake, but he cuts her off — an eagle hunting fish is much more noteworthy. (We agree.)

Jacob is then curious as to why Bella likes Edward — is it his dazzling good looks? His piles of money? Bella gets angry and moody (again), and pulls the whole, “You don’t even know, Jake!” card. Jacob tells her it’s just unnatural; that she should at least fall for someone of the same species. Bella then points out that Jacob isn’t completely human, either, and they argue about degrees of human-ness for a while. Jacob claims he’s more human, because his mythical creature status was passed down through his bloodline. Whatev. But, just as with Ed, Bella can’t stay mad with Jacob for long. His pain, her pain, afterall.

Best Worst Lines

“Graduation was only a few weeks away, but I wondered if it wasn’t a little foolish to sit around, weak and tasty, waiting for the next disaster. It seemed too dangerous to be human — just begging for trouble.” (92)   (Ha. Weak and tasty.)

“I did try. And surprisingly, there were other things almost as stressful to dwell on besides my status on the endangered species list. . . .”

“I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you.” (95)

“It was still too early, but I decided I’d better get out of the house before the inanimate objects started talking back.”

Things That Really Irk Us

Bella freaking out about Victoria and going on about being weak and tasty and helpless as a mere mortal. We’re over this angsty non-plot line.

Bella talking to magnets. Do we really need to expand on this one?

The fact that Bella literally has to make a run for it to go visit Jacob. The Cullens are a bit controlling, no?

How Bella jumps so quickly to defend Edward. Doesn’t she remember the holesssssss? We sure do, unfortunately.

Final Thoughts

Well, we’re quite sure that Eddie-kins isn’t going to be happy about Bella’s little sojourn to La Push. Our first prediction would be physical violence. But we know that won’t happen. They’ll probably hug and snuggle and Bella will promise to never ever do it again like a good, brainwashed girl.

Go to Chapter 5.

11 Responses to “4. Nature”

  1. […] We have two more “Eclipse” chapters up for you: three and four. […]

  2. Laughable. It amuses me that the Cullens are all, “NO WEREWOLVES” and she has to literally sneak away to get there to see him. Wait… wasn’t Jake mad at Bella like… 2 chapters ago? I thought they stopped talking…

    What the hell does Bella even do for a living? Bitch? Is that her job or did she open a stand like Lucy in Charlie Brown?? Does she have a bitching stand?

    Three of those quotes were hilarious. “Weak and tasty”, The heart one was just… excuse me whil I throw up worthy. The inanimte objects one I’m still laughing about XD.

    How could we forget the holes???? Bitch wouldn’t let us forget.

  3. I see why those are the Best worst lines.

    Maybe after all this, you could list down the “best-est worst-est lines in the whole series (no, I refuse to call it a saga) ever”, or maybe per book. Maybe call it something else, other than what I offered. haha, just a thought.

  4. This chapter smells like, er, gross.

    But as I say, “Bella can bitch with the best of ’em!”

  5. I think Bella’s right. It’s still better to talk to magnets than to Edward.

  6. who talks to cold, life-less, objects? Bella: are girl that engages conversations with magnets and vampires alike!

  7. Its the same thing. Over and over and over.I don’t know how you guys do this! I could read only 3 chapters of twilight before I gave up!
    Must take willpower!

    • We’ll admit, it hasn’t been easy. But once we started (and once we started to get some regular readers), we knew we had to finish. No matter how painful it got.

  8. See here’s the thing and granted it is skewed by my own experience. I have on occasion and much to my surprise manged to land a (using the term lightly) significant other that I felt was way way way out of my league looks wise. Not putting myself down but I know my limitations and I know when I’m playing out of my league. Anyway, Stunning face, incredible body, smelled great. I mean just WOW. However beyond the fact that I could (and did) just stare & scrump for hours. We really did not have much in common. After a while I got beyond the looks and did not really want to spend TIME with her just doing stuff. Soooo whats my point. I understand Bella, especially not having had a real boyfriend type relationship before, going crazy over her first boyfriend. But the awe over the looks fade pretty quick especially when you have very little else in common.and Bella most often seems to be awed with Edwards looks not who he is as a person. In fact she is usually making excuses for his abusive behavior. Her choice of Edward over Jacob considering how genuinely right he is for her, is beyond mind boogling. It’s like her choosing Edward is really more about avoiding real life. The decisions, the changes, the pain and difficulties that living life on its own terms bring. By staying with Edward her existence will always be static, unchanging, No choices, no painfull decisions and Edward will never leave and never die. The tragedy of this is of course is it will not be living so much as merely existing and Bella will really gain very little in the bargain as compared to the life she would have had with Jacob.

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