4. Invitations

Chapter Synopsis

Bella is frustrated with people badgering her about the accident and what happened. One thinks they would understand, as they were all bawling on her behalf. Edward is avoiding her like the Spanish flu that almost claimed his life so many years ago (according the the film; we have not gotten that far in the book, so shhh if it’s different). Angst, angst, angst.

Pre-pubescent boys keep trying to trick Bella into asking them to an upcoming dance, but Bella is smarter than that and wants to hit up the hometown of Starbucks (Seattle).

Suddenly, Edward (the destroying angel) speaks to Bella and apologizes for being so rude and moody; it’s that time of month (feeding time).

It turns out that Bella rivals Carlisle in the match-making heaven that is Forks, and convinces Mike to ask Jessica to the dance. Teenage angst and mortal boys aside, Edward asks Bella if he can tag along to Seattle since her car is a P.O.S. and he drives a nifty silver Volvo. Score one, Edward.

However, Edward reminds Bella constantly that they cannot be friends. (We are confused, too.)

Best Worst Lines

“Of course he wasn’t interested in me, I thought angrily, my eyes stinging — a delayed reaction to the onions. I wasn’t interesting.  And he was.  Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect…  and beautiful… and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.” (79)   (And can we add that he’s creepy… and inhuman… and pasty… and wants to kill Bella… and, oh yeah, not real!)

“Stupid shiny volvo owner.” (83)

“‘Honestly, Edward.’  I fet a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it.” (84)   (We hate it, too.)

Things That Really Irk Us

How interested everybody is in Bella. When will they realize, as we have, how dumb she is?

The unnecessary amounts of drama and angst that are abound. It’s ridiculous.

Edward seems awfully moody. We don’t like boys whose moods change more often than our own.

Final Thoughts

We thought our noses were running because of the weather. Turns out, our brains are slowly melting and dripping out our noses. We smell a lawsuit. We better apply to grad school before we forget how to spell our names.

Go to Chapter Five.

8 Responses to “4. Invitations”

  1. I love the best worst lines and the final thoughts! I swear you guys should be in a sitcom! Nearly ever line makes me smile, snicker, or lmao! 😀

    • Haha, thanks, Katreah! Hmm… a sitcom. What a brilliant idea. Know anyone in the entertainment industry? Lol.

  2. You guys = hilarious

  3. haha wow this is so entertaining! once again… you and your site are loved by me.

  4. Final thoughts definitely made me LOL 😀

  5. The thing that irks me the most is that Bella (or SM) keeps referring to Edward as “perfect”. Everything is perfect about him. He’s not “handsome”, or “cute” or “manly” or anything else – no, it must be “perfect”. As if anybody can prescribe what perfection is! >:(( What a poor vocabulary. At the hundredth time I came across this painful word I had to close the book.

  6. Oh my god, that last line about your brain melting…brilliant

  7. In the book, Edweird tells Bella to stay away from him just after he invites her to Seattle. LOLWUT?

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