The Worst Merchandise

When it comes to the marketing and merchandising that has accompanied the “Twilight” phenomenon, we have discovered a number of things that really disturb and worry us. We’ll be compiling an ongoing list of the worst of the worst on this page. Feel free to make any suggestions you may spy in your shopping travels; we can only search for this crap for so long before it starts to hurt.

The Bookstwilight%20series

It probably goes without saying that we think the books are way overrated. It really irks us that Stephenie Meyer is rolling in money now thanks to this glorified fan fiction. She’s admitted that she conceived of Edward in a dream, and it disturbs us that one woman’s wet dream has turned into a pop culture sex symbol. Even though we are reading the series, we are steadfast in our vow not to spend a penny on the saga.

The Stupid T-shirts

There are far too many of these floating around. The ones with character’s faces from the movies are bad enough. But then you get the token “I (heart) boys who sparkle” ones, or the “Stupid Lamb” ones, and we just can’t handle them.

Twilight Edward Body Shimmer

body shimmerHot Topic – $9.99

No, we are not joking. This really does exist. It just appears to be a stick of that roll-on glitter crap, with Edward Cullen’s face on the bottle. Which of course makes it way better than any other brand/type of roll-on glitter crap. Who doesn’t want to sparkle like a pasty skinny kid in the “buttery sunlight”?

Edward and Bella Action Figures

Hot Topic – $32.99

We’ve also heard rumors about Edward and Bella Ken and Barbie dolls… If those ever materialize, we will be even further disgusted. We’re willing to accept the action figures simply because action figures generally go hand-in-hand with big movies. But that doesn’t mean we have to condone buying them. Especially not for $32.99. Come on, Hot Topic.

Twilight Edward and Bella Vintage Carrying Casetwilight_carrying_case

Hot Topic – $38

This is included simply because we can’t think of one useful thing to do with it. It’s something halfway between a lunch box and a treasure test… Perhaps we’re meant to keep our blood-red apples and that lock of tousled bronze hair in it? We suppose it’s something to consider.

Twilight Rubber Bracelets

Hot Topic rubber– $8.00

These are actually kind of funny. You can also buy sets that say things like “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” on them, but these ones actually do say “I’m in love with a Fictional Character.” … We sincerely hope they’re made to be a joke. Because if people are buying them to wear seriously… well, that’s just too sad and disturbing to even think about.

Vampire Fangs

Hot Topic – $15.99

Well, these are perhaps not exclusively “Twilight” merchandise, but we’ve seen them recently on display along with all the other “Twilight” crap. While we deem them mildly funny, we’re also (unfortunately) certain that roughly every pre-teen and TwilightMom now owns a pair.

Twilight Music Jewelry Box

Amazon – $67.90

Really? Nearly 70 bucks for a box with Edward and Bella on it to put your rings in? We only hope that it plays spectacular music — like, we’re talking Beethoven’s undiscovered final symphony or something here — because that’s the only reason we can grasp for it costing so much.

Twilight Perfume

Hot Topic – $48 (no longer for sale)

perfumeApparently they either stopped making this, or sold out of it, because we couldn’t find a Web site that actually had it for sale. Though, admittedly, we didn’t spend an awful lot of time looking… Regardless, though, this is perhaps the most disconcerting thing on our list thus far. It’s special “Twilight” perfume that sold late last year at Hot Topic for $48. The bottle is shaped like an apple with “The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest” scrawled across it. Ugh. Gag. We must admit, though, that we are very curious as to what it actually smells like. How do you bottle teen angst and lust?

The product description, for your reading pleasure:

(Limit one bottle per customer.)

The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest! So take a bite of this apple-shaped bottle. It contains a delicious lavender and freesia scented perfume. Limited and exclusive to Hot Topic!

Coffin Couch

Gizmodo – $3,500.00

Coffin Couch

Oh, the joys of Stumbleupon. This came to us purely by coincidence. Such a lovely piece of furniture. It is not specifically a Twilight product, but it works well for all of those women who wish their undead men rested (?) their eyes in a dark coffin. Let’s not forget that it comes in purple, red or black to match any home decor. It’s a nice addition to your sunroom, parlor, living room or, to be truly dark and sinister, your basement.

BONUS: When your puny, mortal body calls it quits, your loved ones can save on funeral costs and just stick a few nails in the top and toss it in the ground.

Twilight Greeting Cards

Hallmark, you make us sad. The greeting card company recently announced a new line of cards — starring our favorite characters! Yippie. RPatz can now wish you a happy birthday or a happy Halloween (yes, this line of cards will also cover Halloween and Valentine’s Day… commence gagging). Isn’t it bad enough that we can’t walk into a bookstore, party store, or video store without seeing pasty faces everywhere? Oh, and did we mention that these cards are BEYOND corny and painful? Check out this one for Halloween. We’ll give you a hint: it includes the phrase “eye candy.” If that wasn’t bad enough, the cards will not only be graced with Eddie, Bella and Jacob, but some will also play music and include bookmarks and stickers. … We expect at least three a piece for our birthdays.

Twilight Barbies

Any store — $25

barbies

It has happened. They will soon be here. Yes, Mattel has sunk to a new low. Come November 1 — just in time for “New Moon” — you will be able to purchase the Barbie and Ken versions of Bella and Edward. We thought Barbie was striving to be more realistic? What’s realistic about sparkly vampires, eh? Plus, the Barbies don’t really look much like KStew and RPatz. Though, the Edward doll does look extra pasty, and also appears to have those dreamy topaz eyes. But he also looks like he’d be batting for the other team, don’t you think? (And we’re not talking baseball here…)

Jacob Barbie

Price varies

To complete your collection of Twilight Barbies, don’t miss out on buying Jacob Black! His Barbie comes almost naked — he’s only wearing cut-off jean shorts and tennis shoes — and includes that infamous 6-pack and wolf pack tattoo on his shoulder. The doll does actually look a little bit like Taylor Lautner (complete with bad hair), which we’re not sure is really a good thing…

The Vamp — Sparkly Dildo

Tantus-  $39.99

VAMPWe would like to thank Emily for sending us this juicy little man all the way from an article she spotted on Dlisted. We flipped through the Tantus Web site to discover that it is available for pre-order on September 1 so that it gets delivered to your door before Halloween AND before the New Moon release!! Ladies, start your engines (*gag*) with this sparkling — yes, sparkling! — pleasure-toy. (We never thought “sparkling” and “pleasure” could be used in the same sentence.) And yes, Tantus assures us that it is perfectly okay to put The Vamp in the refrigerator to cool it off for that realistic and cold vampire-flesh feel. Tantus experts recommend this toy if you enjoy Twilight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, True Blood, Angel and all of those other top-notch vampire-based media favorites. There is even a video showing off its sparkling capablities. So don’t forget, this is not just for your nocturnal pleasure, but is well equipped for use in a meadow full of buttery sunshine, too!!

A Custom Shower Curtain

Etsy — Not for sale
shower curtain

Maureen (one of our awesome readers!) sent this our way. She found it on Etsy. It was custom made (hand-painted, actually) and sold to someone by request, but we still agree that it’s creepy whether it was mass-produced or not. Seriously. Who would want that mug staring at them while they’re taking a pee? Eesh.

Edward Bed Sheets

(We’re not sure where these might be for sale)

sheetsOf course they would create and sell these; who wouldn’t want to sleep on the creepy, constipated face that never (ever) sleeps? We suppose it’s somewhat realistic, though — you sleep, he just stares at you all night. It seems as though you could probably buy other similar sheet sets, as well (we’re sure, for example, that are “New Moon” ones by now, too, maybe starring Jacob’s shirtless self). However, we’re not actually sure where you’d order these. We’d look into it further, but, honestly, we don’t really care enough to find out.

RPatzz Pantiesrpattzpanties

Not For Sale (we don’t think…)

No, we are not joking. Well, okay, we sort of are. But these do actually exist. They were mentioned a little while back on Dlisted, but they were explained as being somewhat of a gag gift that someone made for someone else. Creeeeepy (yet slightly hilarious) gag gift! Especially the part where his mouth is also on the INSIDE of the underwear. … We can’t even figure out what to say about that.

We’d each like seven paris, please.

Edward Wall Shadow

Etsy — $60 (currently sold out)

shadowOkay, so this item is one of the most disturbing we’ve come across lately (though, nothing will top the dildo, we don’t think). It’s one of those vinyl stick-ons you can put up on your wall. But it’s just the shadow outline of Edward Cullen. Life-sized. With a corresponding stick-on of Edward’s “own personal calligraphy” that says “Be safe.” … So now he really CAN watch you while you sleep like the creepy stalker that he is! It seems you could buy these in various colors, before they sold out. HOWEVER, if you’re more of a Jacob fan, good news! The life-sized Jacob wall decals are still in stock! You can also order either of these in a smaller version to stick on your laptop for $10. But those aren’t nearly as creepy. If you’re gonna do it, do it right.

Twilight Manllows

Etsy — $50

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any more disturbing, AOL had an article about the   newest craze — the Twilight “Manllow” — half man, half pillow! The description on Etsy is spot on:

“For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Edward Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one.”

It is made of cotton jersey, a screen printed face, polyester stuffing and LOVE.

Now, all you have to do is strap the Twi-dildo on and you’re all set for a night of cold, lack-luster, one sided lovin’.

Oh yea… you can get a Jacob Manllow too if you’re SUPER lonely and need twice the lovin’.

Do you like being big AND little spoon? These are the products for you.

“Vampire Bait” Belt

Hot Topic — $16.99

This product — a chunky belt that reads “Vampire Bait” in curly letters with what looks like blood dripping behind them — was pointed out to us by a reader. The reader wrote:

Seriously?  Seriously?  Nothing like intentional self-victimization….like we don’t have enough genuine women victims of violence already.

We couldn’t agree more.

Bella’s Engagement Ring

Infinite Jewelry Co. — $35 – $1,979

We knew it was inevitable. With the attention to detail SMeyer pays to Bella’s antique diamond-encrusted engagement ring in “Eclipse,” we knew it was only a matter of time before you could purchase your very own version. But Infinite Jewelry Co. has really outdone itself. They’re offering up THREE versions of the ring — a “fashion” version for $35, a “fine” version for $479, and the “genuine” real thing (that’s made with real gold and lots of diamonds) for $1,979. It seems they expect uber-Twihards to convince their hubbies-to-be to shell out for the “genuine” versions before getting down on one knee. We, however, just giggle at this presumption. Let’s be honest… anyone who would really want this as their engagement ring is not going to be getting engaged anytime soon.

Yahoo News reported on this product in April. They also included the company’s description of the ring:

“Experience your romance with Edward Cullen in a whole new way when you slip on Bella’s Engagement Ring! You’ll love showing off the radiant stones in this elegant, domed-oval, gold ring. In true Victorian-era design, your ring is created by master artisans with an open-work gallery and a finely polished edge that surrounds the brilliant faceted stones. How exciting for you to own the only, Original, Bella’s Engagement Ring in the world!”

Good lord.

Lil’ Vampire Baby Pacifier

Amazon — $5.50

This product just baffles us. It’s not cute… it’s just disturbing. The child pictured on the packaging just looks creepy. Who would buy this? Oh yeah, all those Twi-hards who want to marry Eddie Cullen and have mutant babies and choose ridiculous names for them like Renesmee. That’s who. Maybe they’ll also feed their babies blood instead of milk in their bottles for funsies. … On second thought, people who would want to buy this pacifier probably shouldn’t be procreating in the first place…

—–

We stumbled upon this blog post a while back, and couldn’t pass up making mention of it on this page. It’s a list of the “30 Most Disturbing Twilight Products.” Some we have listed here, some are home-made, and others are just funny and ridiculous. The commentary on each item is right up our alley, and we thought you’d be amused, too.

—–

Have suggestions for this page? Let us know!


79 Responses to “The Worst Merchandise”

  1. the reason that perfume is no longer for sale is because it got caught up in legal dispute – the bottle design was ripped off (and very blatantly so) from some other “designer” perfume. so they ripped it from shelves. the only reason i know this is because it was on perez hilton shortly after the lawsuit was filed. oh, and you can now take a quiz on facebook about “which twilight character are you”?

  2. […] the Merch Added a new page today – The Worst Merchandise. You can probably infer what it covers. But in case you’re clueless (perhaps you’ve […]

  3. […] New merchandise discovered via Stumpleupon. It’s definitely something that will spice up your home decor. […]

  4. Yeah, Emily, I heard about that. But, honestly, should we expect the Twilight franchise to be original? lol. The series with the BIGGEST Mary Sues…

  5. […] updated the Worst Merchandise section, Torturous Tidbits, as well as our Just For Laughs links section. Some really quality stuff, […]

  6. At borders they had stuff like journals/pens and they had their own candy bars made. Now they’re coming our wirth a make-up line!!! ridiclous

  7. A make-up line? Seriously? Dear lord.

  8. That glitter is such a rip-off. I could probably get the same amount of glitter for $2 at Target or another retailer. But it has Edward on it, so people can sell it for more than it’s worth.

    I went to Hot Topic the other day and about 75% of the T-shirts that they normally sell for women have been replaced by Twilight stuff. I’m starting to miss all of those T-shirts with sparkly faeries. The faeries should sparkle, but not vampires.

  9. It terrified me one day in the hallway last year when I was looking at the floor thinking about something and I looked up to see a GIANT… and I mean GIANT edward pin on this girls bag… Scared me so much I jumpped… no lie… actually happened.

    As for that body glitter crap, my friend and I went into Hot Topic looking for it… just to see if it really exsisted. We finally had to ask an employee… and she was WAY too eager to show us where the stuff was… as we walked toward it I started to lost my composure… Once we got into the isle and all I saw was Edward looking at me I began to laugh… so hard I was crying I might add. The woman showed it to us… tiny little vile, and thought I was a MADLY in love Edward fan and told me it was made of real Eddiekin sparkles… really… I could not make this up. I’m still dying and my friend had to explain, to save my face, that we were NOT fans. Very amusing.

    If you think about it… the fangs don’t make sense… because in SMeyer’s world Vamps don’t HAVE them… thus telling me that the fans just don’t have a clue…

    I need that perfume for my sanity… it would be so amusing for somebody to ACTUALLY come up to me and tell me I smell of Lavander and Freesha… it would make me laugh… so hard I wouldn’t be able to stop for days.

    That couch is definetly a good buy… I might need it if Iever choose to end my life after reading Breaking Dawn…

    Rob looks sick on those cards… really, really sick… ill… terrible… I can’t wait to buy them for my friends… but that would be giving money to their cause… I guess I’ll have to stick with printing large, ugly pictures of rob out and taping them to the inside of corney cards… lol

    The barbies make me want to cry inside…

  10. Wow are those dolls creepy.

  11. Though at least Edward doesn’t have the stalker face.

  12. No, he doesn’t have the stalker face. But he does have the topaz eyes and metrosexual grey pea coat. *Snigger.* We wonder what his hair feels like? Perhaps the doll comes with a little tube of styling gel for him?

  13. I just… should NOT have watched that video… I just shouldn’t have. That is by far the weirdest product… EVER.

  14. This had me in hysterics, I could not stop laughing!!! And the dildo, OMG, a whole new level of creepy. The mans hand twirling it around to JAWs music!

  15. oh my gosh i was on a anti-twilight website when i saw the dildo and i could not stop laughing and if you thought the fact that it was even made was funny then just check out the comments that people have written. This one is by far the funniest.

    “OMG! I LOVE the Twilight Series so much! This dildo is great because one minute I shut my eyes and pretend I am screwing Edward with his cold, sparkling, marble cock; then the next, I warm it up and pretend Jacob is doing me from behind [you know, DOGGY STYLE! LOLZ!!!] I have multiples because sometimes I like to pretend they are both ravishing my body at the same time. Also, I like to tie them to my cats and pretend they are were-vamp-kitties! I just wish a balls were included with the shaft, so that Edward and Jacob could take turns tea-bagging me…another good idea is to hold your hand in ice water for a bit, and then you can act like Edward is giving you a donkey punch as well!”

    I could not stop laughing as i read this to my friends. Who all think Twilight is a joke. So yeah. Anyways I guess tomorow is supposed to be Stephanie Meyer day…oh joy.

    • Oh and when you wrote this “Ladies, start your engines” for the dildo you forgot to include all the homosexual men out there that do want Edward to take them from behind…no offensive to any guys who are homosexual and hate Twilight and Edward. I just personally know some guys who would like this product.

      Seriously thought that’s next for this franchise? A life like model of Bella’s vagina?…ewww I just got horrible mental images of what that would look like, didn’t Bella have a child?

      • No. She didn’t have a child. According to Wikipedia, Edward ripped open her stomach, and ate through her water sack to get the mutant spawn out (that broke her spine)

        … I can’t believe I just wrote that. I feel vomit in my throat right now. And I just finished eating. Damn!!! *hurls all over laptop*

  16. There’s a website with a game about twilight merchandise called “the crazy twilight merchandise game”. You can find a load of stupid, weird and disturbing merchandise there.

    http://www.fanpop.com/spots/critical-analysis-of-twilight/forum/post/40950/title/crazy-twilight-merchandise-game

    • Hahaha, thanks for the link! There are some real gems posted on there that we’ll definitely have to include here!

      • Yup its a wonderful place. The place is called Critical Analysis of Twilight, and its a great laugh, full of intelligent people. Just curious, are you a fan of the vampire chronicles?

  17. @Myf: No, we’ve never read any other teen vampire romance series. The fact that our username is similar is complete coincidence.

    • Are you being sarcastic? 😐 Honestly, I can’t tell. If you’re not then I’d like to say The Vampire Chronicles are not another teen vamp romance. Its not a romance in the conventional sense, and its an adult’s book, and is too mature for some adults if I’m honest. By that I mean, I’ve known some very immature and ignorant adults who’ve read it and failed to fully comprehend the series. 🙂

  18. vampychronicles;

    The Vampire Chronixles is not a teen vampire romance serie. It is a complete ADULT vampire serie, which is about so much more than any romance. It’s in no way sanely or validly comparable to Twilight.

    Just curious; what’s the story behind your username then, if it’s not related to the book serie? (:

  19. Our bad, our bad. There are so many vampire series out there these days… which ones are we thinking of? Vampire Diaries maybe? Regardless, we’re sorry for the confusion. We’ve never really been into vampire books in general (although Spider Monkey read “The Historian” a few years back and is pretty much in love with it).

    @VampireOutlaw: There’s no great story, really. The Destroying Angel just came up with it back when we decided to start this project. We wanted it to be something that would allow us to possibly review more than just the Twilight books (though that’s probably unlikely now; Twilight has scarred us). And since we’re chronicling our progress, it seemed to fit.

  20. Have you guys seen this?
    http://www.dlisted.com/node/34583

    Also, I’m going to be Breaking-Dawn Bella for Halloween, so I thought I’d link to my costume here:

    • Ha! Thanks for the underwear link; we’ll be updating this section with lots of similar gems this week.

      And your costume — AWESOME. Love it.

    • You costumes is well quite simply scary, I would not want you knocking on my door.

    • I saw those… things… and my cat was frightened to hear me scream. People REALLY need to get lives instead of wishing they were in a pathetic, spinless, annoying antj-feminist’s.

      Awesome costume!!! I wish I’d thought of that! One of the best ant-twi costumes I’ve seen this far!!! I wish more people would dress like that. I am sick of people wearing gold contacts for Halloween. 😛

    • Hahaha, that’s so funny! I wish I thought about that

    • I love your costume! The glitter was a nice touch.

  21. Would you guys mind if I send you an email with some photos of creepy merchandise that you can post here? 😛

  22. Hahahahahahahaha. (nervous laugh)
    Cough.
    What the hell?

  23. Yeah Nina Ricci sued SMeyer for ripping off her apple bottle design, so it was pulled from shelves right quick. Oh yeah for more merchandise (you know this is the reason why Twifuck was picked up in the first place- much like CSI) go here: http://www.emitations.com/twilight-jewelry.html. They have some of the trashiest, over-priced gaudy shit that claims to be inspired by Twifuck. I liked the REAL earrings Nikki Reed wore in the kitchen scene, the earrings offered here aren’t even close.

  24. its true about the edward/bella barbie dolls- i bought one for a gag-gift exchange during Christmas. The Edward one has glitter on it.
    Thats right.
    Even in doll form, he sparkles in the buttery sunlight

  25. […] also updated The Worst Merchandise section. The Destroying Angel stumbled upon some reallllly disturbing products — Twilight […]

  26. Oh man. Now that WAS painful. Not in the everyday sense of the word, but compared to the rest of this Twilight-frenzy, which means it is painful beyond words. I first thought that dildo was a joke – I just couldn’t believe it. Then I watched the video on Youtube. And read the first two or three comments. Then I passed out of… disgust? horror? disbelief? It’s hard to decide.

    • Yeah, we thought the dildo was a joke at first, too. Then we cried laughing watching the video, and then cried for real to realize that people will actually spend money on those in order to screw imaginary Edward.

      • But we had to admit, this series has a considerable amusement factor. So funny – and so sad at the same time.

  27. Haha I loved the merchandising game!

  28. Can you give me the link to the dildo vid? I’m sad. I need to laugh.

  29. […] also updated our Worst Merchandise section with a couple of things readers have suggested to us (at this point, it’s just too […]

  30. Ugh. Bella’s Engagement Ring is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.

  31. I was about to mention that as something to add to this list but I’m glad to see someone beat me to it. That really is the ugliest ring I’ve ever seen. I knew already the obsession was bad, but I never thought they’d actually create the engagement ring. Shows what I know. Ugh.

  32. Agreed. So tasteless. It’s all about the show-off.

  33. I feel for the guys out there who will end up having to propose like Eddie Cullen.

  34. […] We also added another disturbing product to our list of Worst Merch. […]

  35. The worst in order: Stephanie Meyer, the fans, the book series, the movies, the i-sparkle dildo, the ed panties, bella’s ring, the body glitter to sparkle like edtardo, the fang baby binky, the dolls, twi-manllows, and the personal stalking shadow.

  36. Hey. Have you guys heard about the Twilight manga? I spotted it a local comic book/gaming store recently.
    I flipped through it out of morbid curiousity. Admittedly, the art was good. It’s the story that sucks. The artist wasting her time.
    *goes to google info*

    • I saw it at Borders books store. I wrote “SHUN!” on the front covers of every last one on the shelves. I had to, the fate of the universe, man kind, and logic were at stake!

      • Indeed. To assure the safety of the universe, though, they must be burned.

  37. I present to you – New Moon packing tape!
    I’m dead serious.
    http://tinypic.com/r/x6frzn/6 (apologies for crappy image… my cell phone camera sucks..)
    $10 at Hot Topic.

    I have lost faith in humanity.

    • Oh good lord! That is… wow… we don’t even have sufficient words. People are sick.

      • There are no words. Only facepalms >.< I agree. What has this world come to?

  38. This is the most disturbing thing I have seen in my life…A fan made Bella’s WOMB out of felt. http://www.cinematical.com/2009/02/05/fan-made-bellas-womb-from-twilight-aka-creepiest-fan-made/

  39. My thought exactly…

  40. On the “30 Most Disturbing Twilight Products” they have Bella’s womb. Her WOMB. It just go downhill from there.

  41. Compared to the Bella’s womb, this is nothing, but they have Twilight conversation hearts that include the word “dazzling.” Enough said.

    • Yup, and certain colors also include edible glitter, so that they literally sparkle. GAG. (Though, they do taste delicious.)

      • 2 things

        1. I thought you weren’t going to spend a penny on this crap. Those movies aren’t free are they?
        2. Isn’t it sad that vampires are associated with sparkling now? 😦

      • Actually, the movies were free. Spider Monkey used to work at a movie theater, and therefore got free tickets (and sometimes still can). We have also perhaps illegally downloaded versions in order to re-watch them for reviewing/commentary purposes.

      • Illegally downloaded? What’s the website? Also, does movie popcorn count as spending money on this crap?

      • i don’t think buying movie popcorn counts – you need SOMETHING to get you through those aweful movies from hell.

  42. When I step out into the sunshine now I just screem, “Ahhh! It SPARKLES!!!” Haha, I get a LOT of dirty looks for that one. Especially at school 😉

  43. They have twilight mom SNUGGIES! WTF! Now you can a creepy twilight mom AND look like one too! Jesus what is this world coming to.

  44. I found this maternity shirt that had “imprinted” where the baby bump would be. So basically the women who’d wear them actually encourage pedophilia, huh? As with the pacifier, women who’d buy those shirts probably shouldn’t be procreating in the first place either . This whole thing makes me sick. I mean really. Don’t even get me started on the” Edward can bruise my body any day” shirts…

  45. That last one…the baby pacifier. *alarmed beyond sanity*
    That totally freaked me out. 😐

  46. Let’s not forget the t-shirt saying “TEAM EDWARD; I run with vampires”. HELL.NO.

    Someone edited the t-shirt so it said “Team Edward Elric; I run with alchemists”. XD

  47. Hahahahahaha. Amazing finds. The body glitter and the Vampire baby pacifier absolutely killed me. Anything to get a buck!

  48. Sooo…

    How many twihards attached that disco stick to the Edward silhouette?

    I cringe at the thought. Ew.

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