8. Temper

Chapter Synopsis

Jacob is extremely full of himself for master-minding Bella’s escape. They head down to the beach, and Jake is mildly excited about the prospect of the Cullens coming after Bella. Bella assures him this won’t happen — they’ll just be pissed at her later.

Bella jokingly asks about the latest “pack scandal,” but this seems to hit a nerve with Jacob. Bella prods a bit, and Jacob finally tells her that Quil imprinted. The pack is worried that maybe the whole imprinting business is more common than the legends say. Then Jake stares intently at Bella for a minute, clearly hoping he’ll imprint on her (subtlety is not your strong suit, SMeyer). But he only succeeds in making Bella feel more awkward than usual.

The two walk down the beach (hand-in-hand, naturally), and Bella is curious as to why Quil imprinting is so scandalous. Jacob is reluctant to explain, but eventually gets around to telling Bella that the reason it’s so weird is that Quil imprinted on Emily’s niece, Claire. And Claire is 2 years old. (Creeeeeepy.) Bella is sufficiently creeped out (good job for having the correct emotion for once, Bella), but Jacob tries to explain/justify this seemingly inappropriate occurrence; he’s upset that Bella is judging. (We’ve got news, Jake — we’re judging, too.) Jacob explains that imprinting isn’t like love at first sight; for now, there’s nothing romantic about Quil imprinting on a baby. Quil will simply become whatever Claire needs him to be — a big brother, a best friend, whatever. Eventually, he’ll become more, and they’ll live happily ever after. (… Still sounds creepy to us.)

Bella asks when Jacob will imprint, and he tells her never — he can’t “see” any girl but Bella. Bella feels slightly awkward about this, and offers to leave. But Jacob begs her not to, promises to stop being so sappy, and suggests they go ride their motorcycles. Which they do. Once the rain makes the roads too muddy to ride, they head back to Jacob’s garage for sandwiches and warm soda. Bella realizes she’s missed afternoons like this with Jacob in the garage, and they both get a little nostalgic. Jacob apologizes again for getting Bella in trouble over the motorcycles, and Bella forgives him.

And then Jake asks something that’s been bugging him for a while — was she serious about the whole Edward biting her thing? Bella tells him yes, and he admits he probably knew that the whole time. But he’s still not happy about it. He points out that it’ll be breaking the treaty, and will start “the war,” even if the Cullens take Bella far away to change her. Bella tries to convince him that it doesn’t have to be that way. She asks if he’ll ever forgive her, and he basically tells her no; she won’t really be Bella anymore once she has those liquid topaz eyes.

Bella asks if this is goodbye then. Jake is confused, until Bella explains that they don’t have years to stay friends — they have only weeks. Jacob is so upset that he almost explodes into a ball of fur. Bella explains that she can’t wait — doesn’t want to wait — much longer; she’s getting older EVERY DAY! She tells Jacob there’s no other option. Jacob tells her anything else would be an option, and says she’d be better off dead and that he wishes she were. Bella gets pissed, grabs her motorcycle, and storms off.

She (somehow) makes is safely back to the Cullens’, where Alice is waiting for her in the garage. Alice can tell she’s upset, but Bella doesn’t want to talk about it. Bella goes to bed early, but is awoken in the middle of the night because she realizes she’s simply too comfortable. Why? Because Eddie is there with her. (Yes, a cold, rock-hard body next to you is our idea of comfort, too.) Bella is expecting Edward to be furious, but he’s not. She kisses him, and he laughs — SHE’s supposed to be furious about the whole hostage situation. Oh, what a conundrum.

And then Eddie starts making out with Bella like he never has before. He pulls her leg around his hip, and asks her why she doesn’t like the bed. Bella’s gettin’ all turned on (though SMeyer would never write that), and starts breathing heavy. It’s funny. Edward then rolls over until he’s “hovering” over top of her. Bella is excited, and asks if this means that Eddie-kins has changed his mind about boning her. Of course he hasn’t. He just wanted to “illustrate the benefits of the bed.” What an ass. Haha. Bella gets all whiney and argues with Edward once again about super-happy-fun-time. Edward maintains that it’s too dangerous, and Bella tells him that one of these days she’s just going to EXPLODE from the pent-up sexual frustration. He tells her she should go back to sleep, but she doesn’t want to.

They both apologize to each other (Edward for the whole hostage thing, and Bella for running off again with Jake). Bella is confused when Ed doesn’t get upset about her trip to La Push. He claims he’s decided to just accept it; he’s going to be more tolerant of Jacob and trust Bella if she says it’s safe. (Wha?) Bella informs him that it may not be necessary — she doesn’t think she’ll be welcome at the Blacks’ anymore after Jacob’s “I’d rather you were dead” comment. Edward feels horrible about this, and, at the same time, has the urge to kill Jacob for saying it. Bella begs him not to, and changes the subject to the previous night’s conversation with Rosalie.

Bella wants to know about the other female vampires in Alaska that Rosalie mentioned, and show off her own jealous tendencies. It’s dumb, and Edward assures her that he was not interested in any of them; Bella is the only one for him (gag). Then Edward hums Bella her lullaby, and she falls back asleep.

Best Worst Lines

“’So what’s the latest pack scandal?’ I asked lightly.” (173)

“’It’s so hard to describe. It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.’” (176)

“But I was surprised to realize how many things I missed from my own personal dark ages.”

“I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of his breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn’t consciously notice until it was removed.” (185)

“Despite his cold hands, I felt suddenly warm.”   (Bella’s gettin’ turned ooonnnn.)

“Before I could answer, before I could even concentrate enough to make sense of his words, he rolled to the side, pulling me on top of him. He held my face in his hands, angling it up so that his mouth could reach my throat. My breathing was too loud — it was almost embarrassing, but I couldn’t care quite enough to be ashamed.”

“He held himself carefully so that I felt none of his weight, but I could feel the cool marble of his body press against mine.”

“’Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.’” (195)   (Who the hell talks like this? Ever?)

Things That Really Irk Us

The hand holding. Bella always mentions that allowing Jacob to hold her hand might be sending out the wrong vibes. But then she does it anyway! Ugh. This continues to be irksome.

The imprinting business is really, really creepy. We don’t care how SMeyer tries to justify it… it’s still not okay for a 16-year-old to be lusting (sexually or not) for a 2-year-old. *Shudder.*

The sexually-charged scene. … Okay, so the scene itself doesn’t really irk us — it’s actually downright hilarious. What irks us about it is that pre-teens and over-40 women probably got way too excited while reading it. Ick.

Bella pulling the jealous card and asking Ed about the perfect vampy women in Tanya’s coven. Doesn’t Edward affirm his love for (and control over) Bella often enough? Apparently not, because she’s still gotta go fishing for compliments and reassurance.

Final Thoughts

Is ANYTHING going to happen in this book? Seriously. We’re used to getting no plot from SMeyer, but this is just getting ridiculous.

Go to Chapter 9.
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15 Responses to “8. Temper”

  1. The imprinting thing is SUPER freaky. No matter how you try and jusify it or explain it SMeyer it is plain messed up! Do you ant your two year old being imprinted on by some teenage wolf man? I think not.

    I’d rather Bella was dead too…

    For a teenagers book about abstinance, supposedly. There is certainly a lot of Bella begging to have sex with Eddie. Just becaue Eddie never DOES it doesn’t mean that that teaches kids not to. It teaches them to bitch and bitch and eventually their signifigant other will give in. *cough* Breaking Dawn *Cough* Everybody wants a demon spawn.

    It’s so not Eddie to “illistate” the bed’s usefulness. That kind of teasing is kind of bitchy… especially since Bella is so hormonal and is in SERIOUS need of some lovin’ bedroom style. He should know that… then againw when did Eddie ever give a damn?

    Did Eddie pull a Scarlett O’Hara? Drinking that perfume to hide the smell of brandy… never works.

    Really who DOES talk like that? Super awkward moment.

    Yes something will happen. Bella will continue to lust for Eddie. Eddie will continue to tease her. Jake and Bella will make up… Jake and Eddie will exchange more insults, Victo- OMG Eddie have sex with me! Please!!!! Then more Eddie teasing her… then more vampy crap…. this is just a guess.

  2. I’m embarrassed to admit that I remember this from the book, but when eddiekins is like, “Bella, stop trying to take your cloths off!!!” and she’s all, “Why? Do you want to do it?”

    Seriously, how stupid can someone get. She’d have better luck trying to fuck the pope than her precious virtuous eddilocious vampy-kins

  3. Morganne: Yeah, a lot of the crap in this chapter seems really out of character for Ed. Then again, he really lacks in characteriztion, so who knows.

    Kate: The part you’re talking about (the “Stop taking your clothes off” part) actually comes later. Like Chapter 20 or 22 or something. We just read it and laughed our asses off. A lot. Can’t wait to review that chapter.

  4. In the “Best Worst Lines” section you forgot the part where Edward says something along the lines of, “Bella, can you please stop trying to take of your clothes?” No joke. He really says that. Bella is such a whore.

    • Haha, nope, didn’t forget it – that line doesn’t come until Chapter 20! This scene of Bella being turned on and Edward turning her down happens far too many times in this stupid book.

  5. Bella is a whore!!!!

    And imprinting-sorta creepy.
    But definitely not as creepy as Edward’s face!
    Ha!
    You just got burned!

  6. Imprinting is really creepy. There is no way to explain away the creepiness. Nope. SMeyers, you’re creating quite a lovely little world – abusive boyfriends (Sam), stalkers (Edward), Mary Sue women (Bella), slavishly besotten annoying boys (Jacob, who is one of the least objectionable but still irritating as hell), girls who are randomly bitchy (Rosalie), and nutjobs (Alice). What the F? All of these characters are lame.

    • Oh, and homewreckers (Emily) and pedophiles (Quil). Anything else?

      • Yeah, we agree. What really bothers us is the fact that this crap is being passed off as innocent teenage drivel. It’s far from it! Young readers are idolizing these characters who, really, have no positive qualities about them whatsoever. We realize it’s fiction. But we don’t condone putting abusive, creepy, dumb characters up on a pedestal and telling teens that they should want to emulate them.

  7. Okay – I have a question (not that I expect to get any satisfactory answers):

    As creepy as imprinting on a 2-year-old is, what happens if Claire grows up and doesn’t WANT to get together with her werewolf? Does she have a choice in this?

    • Simple. Quil mauls Claire’s face. She will then be so flattered by such “devotion” that she will love him back. Isn’t it beautiful? *sarcasm hand raised* *bangs face against wall*

  8. The “illustrating the benefits of the bed” thing really made me laugh. I have never been so squicked out in my life.

  9. The not-so-sexy sexy scene was just… awkward. But not even the kind of awkward where I felt the need to laugh. More the kind of awkward where I shake my head in shame as I die a little inside.

  10. “Sleep my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.”
    Pfft. Hahahahaha! If this was how he talked to every girl he liked, then it’s no wonder he’s a 110-year-old virgin!

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