4. Gesture

Chapter Synopsis

The wedding gives way to the flowery, twinkle-light-filled reception being held in the Cullens’ back yard. Billy Black is there, along with Seth and Sue Clearwater. Seth and Ed share a manly side-hug, and then come more hugs and greetings from Bella’s fake friends, followed by the lovely ladies and gents of the Denali clan. Bella can’t help noticing their perfection, and that good ol’ insecurity flairs up again, even though Edward evades a hug from Tanya and they all welcome Bella warmly into the family.

They go through all the customary wedding rituals — photos, cutting the cake, throwing the bouquet, removal of the garter by fangs, the first dance, the daddy-daughter dance… you get the picture. Edward at one point whisks Bella away from Mike, noting that Mike should be kicked out for having such “improper” thoughts about a married woman. Bella, as usual, can’t take any sort of compliment, but Edward finally makes her look at her reflection. And she gorrrrrgeous.

Then Edward makes a funny face, which immediately turns into a broad smile — there’s apparently a surprise wedding gift for Bella! He twirls her off the dance floor and over to the trees, where Bella’s four-legged bestie is waiting for her in the shadows. Bella’s crying as she hugs Jacob’s hot bod, and Edward leaves them alone for a minute. Bella is just sooo happy — now EVERYONE she loves is at her wedding. The two sway around a little bit, and chat. Jacob is clearly being cautious, trying not ruin Bella’s wedding day. He tells her Sam and some of the others aren’t far off, though, just in case. Jacob makes sure Bella is happy — that this is what she really wants — and Bella stomps on his toes a few times, just for good measure.

But of course they can’t have a drama-free goodbye. Bella assures Jacob she won’t be getting turned into a vampire for at least a couple of weeks, because she wants to enjoy her honeymoon — yes, ALL of it. (Damnit, she can do what she wants!) Jacob grabs Bella by the arms and starts shaking her violently. Suddenly Edward and Seth are there, as are two other werewolves. Edward pushes Bella out of the way, and Seth does his best to hold Jacob back. Jake tells Edward he’ll kill him, but he doesn’t get to act on it (drat), since Seth and wolf-Sam nudge him back into the forest.

The newly-weds head back onto the dance floor, where nobody (except Edward’s sibs, of course) noticed anything supernatural going down in the shadows. Bella apologizes for her stupidity as usual, but Edward tells her Jacob was right — he IS crazy for agreeing to super-happy-fun-time with Bella. Bella tells him to shut up and forget about it — Jacob and his crazy talk is NOT going to ruin their night.

Bella dances with more people, and then pretty soon Alice is shooing the happy couple out of the reception — they can’t miss their plane to their secret honeymoon destination! Because then Bella may never get laid! Bella changes into her “going away attire,” kisses her mother and father goodbye (amid more tears, of course), and then she and Edward zoom off into the night as Jacob howls forlornly in the forest.

Best Worst Lines

“And they were all four so beautiful that it made my stomach hurt.”

“’I feel just horrible, leaving you to cook for yourself — it’s practically criminal negligence. You could arrest me.’” (56)

“I’d been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then I’d ruined it, turned his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.

But my idiocy would not ruin anything else tonight. I would put this away, shove it in a drawer and lock it up to deal with later. There would be plenty of time to flagellate myself for this, and nothing I could do now would help.” (68)   (Who thinks about flagellating themselves? Except perhaps guys who get the word confused with a similar-sounding one? God, we hate Bella.)

Things That Really Irk Us

The details, as usual, go overboard. We’re really not all that concerned about the exact contours of the faces of each member of the Denali clan. We get it — they’re pretty; really pretty. But Edward still won’t leave Bella for any of them, so lay off, SMeyer.

The whole Jacob drama. We should have known better than to expect Jake and Bella to part ways on good terms. Bella’s too big a bitch for that. But really, was Jacob so naïve as to think Bella would hold onto that V-card forever? We wish he really would have gone after Edward as threatened.

The sappy, lovey-dovey-ness in this chapter. Gah, it’s horrible.

Final Thoughts

Sexy time now?

Go to Chapter 5.