13. Killer

Chapter Synopsis

In this chapter, Bella decides that, while she cannot agree with Jacob’s “pack” killing people, she still should warn him about people hunting wolves around La Push and Forks. She drives to his house and wakes Billy up, demanding to see Jacob. Billy asks why she’s there, and Bella lets on that she knows what the boys are and what they are up to. But when she barges into Jacob’s room to wake him, she feels bad because of his vulnerability and leaves him to sleep while she goes to the beach to sit on the same piece of driftwood where they first talked. Aw, nostalgia. She sits and broods for a while, realizing that Jacob is still her friend whether he kills people or not.

Jacob shows up and tells her he knew it wouldn’t take her too long to figure it out. However, Jacob can tell by looking at her that she came with bad news, and he gets pissed. Bella warns him about the hunters and he’s all “pshhh… that ain’t no thang.” Bella asks if he could try to NOT be a werewolf, and he blows up at her (he’s so angry he could just SPIT). He calls her a hypocrite for being “terrified” of him, when she used to hang out with the bloodsuckers. *Enter Edward’s voice* cautioning Bella to calm Jake down.

Bella tells Jacob she can’t be friends with him if he is going to go around killing people. Jacob is very confused by this, but becomes relieved when he realizes the HUGE miscommunication between himself and Bella. Jacob reminds her that he and his pack are called ‘protectors’ for a reason and are, in fact, protecting the people. Bella is still very confused and is all ‘there are BEARS out there?’ and Jacob realizes she is a dumbass and explains they are protecting the people from the vampires.

Bella has her ‘aha’ moment and asks if it’s Laurent, and Jacob tells her they killed him. At first, Jacob is worried by the fact that she is shaky because he thinks Laurent may have been her friend. However, Bella is just SO relieved that Laurent is gone that the only way she can celebrate is by almost vomiting! (Hooray!)

Jacob tells her a bit about being a wolf. He tells her that it’s unsafe for her to be around him (hmm… sound familiar?) because, if he loses his temper, he’ll change into a wolf.

But then Bella realizes that, if Laurent is dead, that means there is ANOTHER vampire killing people NOW. She realizes it is Victoria and nearly passes out. Jacob pulls her into his lap and asks what’s wrong, so Bella starts explaining why Victoria is in the area — not because they killed Laurent (who was NOT, in fact, her mate), but because Edward killed James (who WAS Victoria’s mate). Now, Victoria is trying to kill Bella! Jacob tries to get her to talk more, but the hole in her stomach is hurting too much and she tells him to stop.

Jacob understands, but explains he has to go let the others know what he found out. He runs off into the forest to let the others know that they need to have a meeting. Bella locks herself in her truck and hyperventilates and freaks out about Victoria, still aghast that the werewovles were able to kill Laurent.

Jacob comes back and explains that the werewolves can hear each other’s thoughts (oooo, ahhh) when they are wolves, and that’s why he had to go into the forest — to transform and relay the message. He was worried this little tidbit might freak her out, but for Bella it’s just like Eddiekins all over again. Jacob is surprised because he thought vampires having extra powers was just a myth. Jacob then explains that he couldn’t tell her he was a werewolf becasue Sam is the Alpha Male of the pack, and no one can disobey him. We learn that Sam was all alone when he turned, and Jacob cannot imagine it because his turn was HORRIBLE, even with the thoughts of the other wolves in his head helping him.

Bella and Jacob head off to meet with the other wolf-boys, and Bella feels sort of bad because she doesn’t know if sharing all this information about the Cullens is betraying them, yet she also doens’t want  to get killed by Victoria… but she also doesn’t want Jacob to die. Oh, calamity. Jacob brings up Edward again and apologizes for using his name. But they’re both SO excited they have each other to share secrets with now! Jacob takes Bella’s trembling hand and leads her out of the truck for the meeting.

Best Worst Lines

“Love didn’t work that way, I decided. Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore. Jacob was my friend whether he killed people or not. And I didn’t know what I was going to do about that.” (304)

“‘Could you… well, try not to be a… werewolf?'” (306)   (Yeah, Bella, we’re sure it’s that simple. Could you… well, try not to be a dumb, angsty bitch? Yeah, we didn’t think so.)

‘”You know what makes me so mad I could just spit?'”

“Even the voice in my head was making no sense today.

I listened to him, though. I would do anything for that voice.”   (Gaaaaag.)

“Jacob held me so tightly that there was no need for me to clutch at the hole — he kept me in one piece.”

“‘They’ll deal with it,’ he said, and then he grinned. ‘Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?'” (321)

Things That Really Irk Us

Bella is still mildly retarded. No, we take that back. “Mildly” may be giving her too much credit. We wonder how she is in advanced classes such as Calculus when she has no control over the logical thinking side of her brain. Oh Bella, go eat some rat poison.

That Meyers is so lacking creativity, her ‘antagonists’ to vampires (werewolves) are nothing but the EXACT opposite, but still sharing in similar powers. Oh, the creativity is oozing from her brain. Someone make it stop. We are so enthralled. WOW (with three syllables).

Bella is just freakin’ annoying. She decides that things like the possibility of her best friends and/or love interests killing innocent people is okay, and is completely accepting of it — because she loves them. However, when it’s Victoria the ginger, she almost vomits at the thought of her killing other people. Maybe Bella just hates gingers. Bitch.

Final Thoughts

Bella is dumb. Jacob is dumb for liking Bella — especially since we do like him as a character in this book. He is probably the only major character we have had any remote liking for. However, his liking (coughlovingcough) of Bella is not acceptable and should stop. Immediately. We are rooting for Jacob realizing she is dumb, and hanging her out to die (we mean… dry).

Go to Chapter 14.

9 Responses to “13. Killer”

  1. Bella really is a SUPER dumbass. “You guys aren’t killing humans… an Laurent was here talking to me and tried ot eat me… so there are bears in them thar hills?! Oh no…” DUMB! How do you not put two and two together!??!?!

    Jake is a werewolf… and the only thing he can say when he’s angry is that he’s so angry he could spit?? Really? Wow.

    “Yeah…just stop being a werewolf! Gosh Jake you’re SO selfish! What about what I want and what I need? I need you to NOT eat people right now.. seriously… this hole inside of me CANNOT handle that!”

    Isn’t this hole supposed to be metaphorical??? SMeyer apparently missed the metaphore class in College.

    I like Jake too, but he is not intelligent for liking Bella… at all.

    This whole chapter in general is going to make my ribs crack during the movie… because I will be dying of laughter. In fact… I might need to go to the hosptial once the film is over… too FUNNY. (Funny with 8 syllables.)

  2. I hear this voice in my head. Actually four. Two are my cousins, one’s a second cousin, and one’s just a spazzy freak that’s there because he is. He’s saying, “Hey, you! I was over at your house last night! I flushed my happiness down the toilet when I read the “Killer” chapter in New Moon. Can I have it back?” Sure, buddy, I want mine back, too. That was so dumb I have to go run out in the fields awhile. Ugh.

  3. so, really, the only intelligent people int the book are lauren, victoria, and jessica, as they are the only ones who don’t line up to snog the muddy forks ground bella walks on.

  4. Nooooo… not the hole again… mercy…

  5. If Bella is swiss cheese, does that mean Jake is provolone or american?

    Those are the real questions that should be asked.

  6. The hole in Bella’s chest is starting to get a mind of it’s own.

    “OmgOmg my hole can’t take it. It told me so. It’s name is Juan BTW and it want’s to take over the world AND it cannot take drama.”

    Bella should get that looked at. Ulcers are going to kill her before the vamps do.

  7. I think it takes real talent to turn these terrible (and large) chapters to something worth reading.So for that you guys are awesome! Its a little weird that Bella refers to the hole in her chest as an actual physically present hole. Unfortunately I know somebody Exactly like Bella, so the horror doesn’t stop with the reading.

    • Thanks for visiting (and enjoying) our site! Sorry to hear that you know a real-life Bella, though. We hate that SMeyer, with these books, basically sends the message that acting like Bella is acceptable; attractive, even. Ugh.

  8. “…and Jacob realizes she is a dumbass…”

    It took him too long. And it will take him much too long to do anything with this revelation. Entirely too long really.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: