Bella drives to school the next day, but not before she tries to show her supposed clumsiness by mentioning slipping on ice in her driveway. We feel this is silly; most people slip on ice, yes? This a character flaw does not make, Stephenie Meyer.
Upon her arrival in the parking lot, Tyler nearly crushes Bella with his out-of-control van — twice. Amazingly, and with the speed and agility of a mongoose, Edward bitch slaps the van and saves Bella’s yummy smelling, strawberry-scented locks. She is rushed to the hospital, fighting with Edward about how he ended up at her side so quickly. Tyler keeps apologizing. A lot.
Bella meets Carlisle Cullen – the somewhat “dishy” 28-30-year-old foster father of five dishy children who all look like they walked off the cover of an airbrushed fashion magazine. (Bella makes sure to mention this more than once.)
And Bella is determined to figure out exactly how Edward saved her and bench pressed the van whilst keeping her skull intact, when he had been all the way across the parking lot. But Edward’s perfect lips are sealed.
Best Worst Lines
“Edward was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking. I glared at him. It wasn’t easy – it would have been more natural to ogle.” (61) (Gaaaag.)
“I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.” (65) (Again… too painful for words.)
Things That Really Irk Us
The unnecessary use of multiple adjectives, especially when used to describe Edward (or any other Cullen, for that matter). Clearly, Meyer never learned the KISS rule: keep it simple, stupid. Sometimes (and, in this case, all the time), less is more.
After Edward saves Bella and she’s on the ground, they are surrounded by a crowd of weeping classmates. … Really? Nobody is dead. They must love motorized vehicles in Forks. Oh my.
“That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.” (67) Come on. W-T-FUCK?Go to Chapter Four.