Little Things That Really Irk Us
We’ll undoubtedly add to this list the more we see this movie. But here’s what we’ve come up with after the first go-round.
The kiss Bella asks for near the beginning – they both make moaning/grunting noises. WTF? This must be what Edward’s O sounds like. Either that, or he’s just especially hungry.
THEY PUT IN THE MONTHS! Ahhh. This sequence is unnecessarily long. And predictable. Oooo, they’re going to show the changing of the seasons out the window! Lame. We were wondering how they’d differentiate between December and January, but they were unimaginative and decided to just leave January out altogether so they wouldn’t have to get creative.
Bella’s nightmares. Which we are alerted to by her ridiculous screams during the night while she writhes and clutches at her sheets. Is this where the holes (the holessssss!) are ripping through her vital organs? It must be, because nobody screams like that while asleep if they’re not also being stabbed (or perhaps bitten or clawed?) to death.
Jacob’s long wig. It’s only marginally better than the one in the last movie. Marginally.
Jessica is more annoying in this movie than she ever was in the books.
Mike Newton in general. “Gotta get that protein in ya!” (No, Mike Newton, Bella doesn’t want any of YOUR protein.)
Bella talking all up in everybody’s face. She keeps telling Jake she doesn’t like him LIKE THAT, but then is constantly almost sitting in his lap and breathing on him.
Bella cliff diving and seeing Edward upside down in the ocean. Seriously? Jacob should have let her drown.
Victoria causing Harry’s heart attack. Good idea to tie things together, we suppose, but it’s done poorly. Especially the part where the werewolves chase her.
The abrupt transition to Italy is almost as poorly done here as it is in the book.
Bella in the yellow Porsche – she sounds like she’s going into labor. Seriously, KStew, those are not anxious, worried sounds. Those are I’m-going-to-pop-a-baby-out-my-vag sounds. Which, we know, Bella never does.
Edward sparkling all over the place… with his little happy trail… BAHAHAHAHA. And putting on that nifty velvet red robe in Volterra. What happened to his shirt? Is the robe supposed to make the “fight” scene more intense as it swishes around?
Caius. From what we remember, he’s supposed to look ancient and mean and brittle. Not like a reject from the Malfoy family.
WHAT is Alice wearing throughout most of this movie???
Alice’s “vision” that she shares with Aro of a sparkly Bella and Edward frolicking through the woods. This was so ridiculous that even some of the tweenies in the audience snorted with laughter.
What’s with the, “I love you, Jake. But don’t make me choose. I’ll pick him” line at the end? Talk about sending mixed signals!
The ending. Edward needs to learn how to not take five million years to get a sentence out. And, is “Marry me” really the best they could come up with? Really? Is that supposed to be a cliffhanger?