Bella is in pain. Ouch. But not when she is in ‘non reality.’ Then she’s not in pain. Then there’s blackness and burning and pain and darkness and ‘ouchies’ for a few pages. We’re back to “the birth,” when the baby seems to be trying to rip its way out of Bella’s stomach. (Remember, that part where she was passed out and getting CPR, but oh wait! not really passed out but vomiting blood and talking and still being alive when she shouldn’t be? Yeah, that part. We’re hearing about it all over again from Bella’s over-dramatic perspective.)
Through the pain, Bella just wants her baby. Her little Edward Jacob (yes, the baby is a Jr. and its middle name is after the man that she is in love with…). Thankfully (we guess?) it’s actually a little girl. Renesmee is freakin’ cute — brown curls with pasty skin that glitters in the sunlight. Bella gets to hold her for a second, before Baby decides Mommy’s boobie looks tasty.
Then she’s no longer in Bella’s arms, and there’s more dramatic darkness and nothingness with rubbery arms. Bella feels herself slipping away… there’s that inviting darkness once again. But if she goes to it, what will Edward do? And Jacob? She decides she has to fight; survive; endure. But the blackness is sooo heavy, and she’s slipping.
So she thinks of Renesmee, and what it felt like to hold her. And she can almost feel her limbs again, although she still can’t see anything. But then it gets hot. Too hot. Everything is burning, including her heart. But she can’t move and she can’t scream. Why can’t she scream? Oh yeah, the Cullens pumped her full of morphine before turning her. So Bella bitches and moans (inwardly) about the burning for three pages. Bitch, bitch, bitch…wah…wah…wah… This is what I wanted, but it hurts so badly I wish I would die — fuckin’ wah.
Eventually, Bella is aware that she has regained control over parts of her body. But since everything is still burning so much, she wills herself to stay still. She realizes she could probably scream now, but she forgets why she wanted to in the first place. She hears everyone chattering around her, and Edward being all worried and emo-like. He’s trying to get some kind of response out of her, but she won’t let herself move. He’s worried he was too late, or that he did something wrong. But Carlizzle isn’t worried; he can hear Bella’s frantic, changing heart beat. And Alice can see Bella clearer and clearer now as she becomes less and less human.
Bella starts counting the seconds, and eventually the pain begins to change. It leaves her limbs, and focuses on her racing heart. Her heart and “the fire” duke it out briefly, but at last the fire wins, and there’s no more burning.
Then, Bella opens her eyes.
Best Worst Lines
“My body tried to reject the pain, and I was sucked again and again into a blackness that cut out whole seconds or maybe even minutes of the agony, making it that much harder to keep up with reality. I tried to separate them.”
“Non-reality was black, and it didn’t hurt so much.” (369) (Non-reality tends to not hurt so much… mostly because it isn’t real. Nice explanation, though. Without you telling us how non-reality isn’t real we would have never known…)
“Reality was red, and it felt like I was being sawed in half, hit by a bus, punched by a prize fighter, trampled by bulls, and submerged in acid, all at the same time.” (369) (Because we’re sure Bella has experienced all these things, too.)
“More blackness.Voices, this time, shouting, as the pain came back.
‘The placenta must have detached!’” (Holy vampy fetus, batman!)
“The light danced, shattering off Edward’s crystal hands. The sparkles were tinged with red, with the blood that covered his skin.”
“My baby. My little nudger.” (SO endearing. We long for the day we can call our children ‘little nudgers’.)
“I wasn’t Atlas, and the black felt as heavy as a planet; I couldn’t shoulder it. All I could do was not be entirely obliterated.”
“If I couldn’t scream, how could I tell them to kill me?
All I wanted was to die. To never have been born. The whole of my existence did not outweigh this pain. Wasn’t worth living through it for one more heartbeat.
Let me die, let me die, let me die.” (377)
“This happened just in time for me to hold on when the weights left my body. To anyone watching me, there would be no change. But for me, as I struggled to keep the screams and thrashing locked up inside my body, where they couldn’t hurt anyone else, it felt like I’d gone from being tied to the stake as I burned, to gripping that stake to hold myself in the fire.” (It’s just so eloquent, we don’t even know how to point out what terrible writing this is.)
“She’s going to be dazzling.” (383) (LITERALLY! HA!)
Things That Really Irk Us
This was a stupid chapter. As was each that preceded it. However, there is NO excuse for taking 13 pages to describe what it feels like to be turned into a vampire. Yes, we get it, it burned like a hot fire.
Nothing else, of ANY substance, happened in this chapter. Literally NOTHING.
The chapter title tells it ALL — seriously.
We would like the last 30 minutes of our lives back, please.Go to Chapter 20.