16. Too-Much-Information Alert
Jacob leaves his post as Bella’s heating pad just before dawn. He and Leah take off to scout deeper in the woods, to check if it’s safe for the Cullens to make a hunting trip. They find no signs of Sam and his pack, which means they must be sticking close to La Push, as Jacob predicted.
Leah eventually thanks Jacob for letting her stay, and sincerely tells him that he makes a good Alpha. He tells her she’s not as annoying as she used to be. Then Leah asks if she can stay with Jacob when this mess is over; when he’s planning to “go wolf” and take to the forest on his own again after Bella snuffs it. Leah promises she won’t be a pain, and points out how much happier she is away from Sam. Jacob tells her he’ll have to think about it.
On the way back, Jake and Leah come upon a pack of deer. Jacob, having lived “all-wolf” for a while, tries to help Leah tap into her animalistic side in order to kill and eat their dinner (since Leah’s all, “ewww, gross, raw meat”). It helps, and the two share a moment of bloody bonding. Awww.
Then they talk about Bella. Leah can understand how Jacob feels — how it’s hard to be around Bella, but also hard to be away from her. Jacob suggests Leah rethink her decision to stay with him in the future, because his head isn’t going to be a very cheery place after he loses Bella. But Leah says she’d rather deal with Jake’s pain than her own. Plus, she understands what he’ll be going through, more or less.
Then there’s much talk of genetic dead-ends and imprinting. Leah says she can commiserate with Rosalie about not being able to ever have pups. She also reminds Jacob of why Sam thinks they imprint — to have the best chance of passing on the werewolf gene. But, Leah says, she must not be good enough, because Sam didn’t imprint on her, and now she’s just a “girlie-wolf” freak who’s menopausal at 20. Jacob tries to make Leah feel better. Why would she want anybody to imprint on her anyway? What’s the matter with falling in love like a normal person? Blah blah blah. The conversation grinds to a halt when Leah admits she’d do the same thing in Rosalie’s situation; she understands the desperate urge to have what you can’t have.
Jacob, having had enough of this conversation, phases back into human form and returns to the Cullen house. Bella is upstairs being X-rayed again; Alice tells Jake the demon fetus appears to have broken mommy’s pelvis. Edward eventually carries an extra pale Bella — still clutching her cup of blood — back downstairs.
Jake informs Carlizzle that the woods are safe for hunting, so Jasper, Emmett, Alice, Esme and Carlisle take off. Carlizzle is also going to try to get his hands on some more blood for Bella. Jake had planned to go get some sleep, but decides he’d much rather stink up the Cullen house and harass Blondie with some more jokes. Plus, Bella doesn’t want him to leave.
And then something magical happens. Edward begins reading the demon baby’s thoughts! Baby is happy. Baby likes Mommy and Daddy’s voices. And Baby LOVES Mommy. It’s all quite sickening. We also learn of plans for names — EJ for a boy (Edward Jacob, we’re assuming), and Renesmee for a girl (mixing Renee and Esme, naturally).
Jacob shares our sentiments on this moment, and is completely sickened. And crestfallen. As he watches Edward crouched over Bella’s belly, cooing at the little monster inside her, Jacob realizes he’s now all alone in his hatred for the thing.
Edward, sensing Jacob’s pain and angry thoughts, tosses him a set of car keys, and tells him to get out of there for a while.
Best Worst Lines
“And I was all alone with my hatred and the pain that was so bad it was like being tortured. Like being dragged slowly across a bed of razor blades. Pain so bad you’d take death with a smile just to get away from it.”
Things That Really Irk Us
Well, the Jacob-Leah-bonding-time was slightly overdone. But whatever. We understand it’s SMeyer’s weak attempt to make Leah look a little less bitchy.
The thing that REALLY irks us is the entire end of the chapter, where Edward reads Baby’s thoughts, and is suddenly ga-ga over it. All that pain and suffering, and suddenly he loves the thing that’s killing his wife simply because he can mind-read it? Oh, but we forgot, Baby LOVES Mommy. Good lord.
We wonder which ridiculous expensive car Jacob will zoom off in? And how angsty will he get now?Go to Chapter 17.